I'm struggling lately. I was adopted as a child by my aunt and she is toxic and narcissistic and she only adopted me because she wanted to seek revenge against her brother and I was the only thing that meant anything to him. she has mistreated me my whole life and even told me to my face she has never and will never love or accept me because I'm not her child. She will blame me for everything bad in her life even when it has nothing to do with me and sometimes I can't help but wonder is there really something wrong with me? Do I cause every bad thing to happen? I just don't understand


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  • Annetta


    I know it is extremely difficult for you to not be loved the way you deserve. I wasn't loved right by my own mother which made it hard too. You have to surround yourself with people who love you such as in a church group or support group. Most important be easy on yourself and love who you are. Because you are truly special and God made you unique. Set boundaries with people who try to take advantage of you and if you can stay away from her she is toxic. See a counselor you like and who has a lot of compassion for you. God bless you!

  • ElizabethJune


    You are not alone. Your aunt sounds just like my step mom who is also a narcissist and mistreated me most of my life. I have 3 younger half siblings on my dad's side who are all her biological children. They are all grown now though but she treated me inferior to them and even flat out told me she hated me at least once or twice and once said in these exact words " my kids will always have something you will never have and that's my love and respect. " she only took me in and pretended to be an advocate for me to keep my dad interested and happy. However she also turned my dad and half siblings against me. My dad is very mild mannered and the peace and love/ hippie type. He was so conflicted by the constant drama and chaos and desperate to keep the peace between me and my step mom that he did everything she said and sided with her on everything which is the only way to keep the peace with a narcissist. He was also afraid of losing contact with and custody of his kids too and wanted to avoid that at all costs even though it meant his relationship with me being destroyed. She up and left him with no explanation about 3 years ago after 23 years of marriage though. So me and him have been very slowly working on repairing our relationship since then. I blamed myself for the longest too. Things that happen that have nothing to do with you and things that other people do are not your fault. You have no control over other people's actions. You can only control your own. So things that are not under your control are definitely not your fault. You didn't make your aunt treat you the way she does. You didn't make her the way she is either. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder that no one chooses to have and not trying to control or change her narcissistic ways is her fault. Also the way she treated you is her fault. She chose to treat you that way. You didn't make that choice for her. So none of this is your fault.

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