me and my ex broke up about 9 or 10 months ago. since then my depression has steadily gotten worse and worse. she was the first girl i basically lived with, and now i have to drive past her and her new partner every day on my way to work. she also works for my mom and my family still adores her. since the breakup ive felt so alone and isolated, my addictions have gotten worse, my night terrors have me waking up multiple times in panic each night, and i dont even know where to turn. I took some safety measures to make sure i dont do anything stupid, gave my firearm to someone else for safekeeping. i feel like i lost everything when we split. my best friend, my home (figuratively speaking, im not actually homeless). the worst part is her partner seems better than me in every way. taller, more handsome, thinner, better with his faith, etc. i know i shouldnt compare myself to other people like that, but i cant stop the intrusive thoughts from coming in. i cant hardly eat anything at this point. i look like ive lost about 15 pounds in maybe 2 or 3 weeks. im lucky to get 900 calories a day in me.
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