Dealing with Eternal Discontentment

I used to use drugs for happiness, otherwise I wanted to die. It would help for a few hours but it’s artificial and there’s always a crash. Also, I completely lost track of who I actually am. I do feel as though I am finding out who I am in the time I’ve been sober, like my likes and dislikes and all that stuff. I also have a severe mental illness that makes happiness hard. However, I have had a couple moments over the past year that I’ve been sober that I felt content, which I have never felt before, and if I did, it was while I was using and it was twisted. It’s incredible and worth the hardships of getting sober

I understand that completely. I felt like I had to relearn myself after I stopped drinking, it was hard but exciting. Try thinking about the things you liked to do before addiction got in the way, or things that you always wanted to try. Look for even the smallest things that make you smile, and how great it is to experience them with lucidity.