Venting about Gunshots at Night

I’m lucky enough that my bf is a cop and our apt complex advertises the fact that the police live here lol so crime at our apt complex is pretty low, but I’m a paranoid parrot and so we bought a ring doorbell camera. I swear it’s helped so much having that there. I used to open the door and peel out if I heard loud noises outside our door. Now I can creep on the front door from the safety of my blanket cocoon lol. My dads house though is RIGHT by the ghetto, swat team called out every other weekend, shootings almost every night. Scary stuff that I grew up around. Never paid it too much thought until I moved out for the first time, I moved to Chicago, and I think it was the gunshots out there that really made me uneasy, I never really felt at ease anymore when I’m home alone. We have lots of guns in our apt too, and he’s obviously trained on how to use them lol and I know how to use most of them and have fired most of them before. I don’t really have any jokes except these two. What did one stop light say to the other? “Stop looking I’m changing!” Lol and this one Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight, and 2021. 😅

Yo momma

So, this may be not everyone's cup of tea but here it goes. A guy was driving a car when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and asked the officer, "is there a problem officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a Rs. 5000 Safe Drivers Award. Congratulations! What do you think you'll do with the money?" The driver thought for a minute. Then he replied with, "Well, I guess I'll go get that driver's license." The lady in the front passenger seat piped up and said, "Oh don't pay any attention to him. He's a smart butt when he's drunk and stoned." The guy in the back seat whined, "I told you guys we wouldn't get that far in a stolen vehicle!" At that moment, a thumping came from the trunk with a muffled voice asking, "Are over the border yet?" Your welcome, I'm sorry, it was google who told me this one so blame Google. Lol hope you are doing better. Don't forget to do some self care!

That’s scary, my husband and I used to live in a worse neighborhood and shady stuff would freak me out too.. We’d hear gunshots. Idk nothing ever happened though. If I was feeling real freaked out I’d make sure the doors are locked and sit in the bathroom for a bit because I feel safe in there? Lol idk

Hi. Working night shift. Recently was told a morbid blonde joke. Hope it’s not too dark. A blonde was at a bar and started talking to this guy. He ordered his special beer. Drank the beer and then flew out the window. He came back got another special beer and took off flying. She asked him how he was able to do this and he blamed the beer. She said do it again and i might try it. So he drinks a third beer and takes off through the window. So the blonde orders the beer and jumps out the window- it didn’t work. The bar tender looks at the guy and says “superman, you’re an ass when you’re drunk.”