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Dealing with Chronic Illness: Feeling Like a Failure

chillspoon

694d

Over the last year I’ve dealt with a series of health issues after 8 months I got a POTS diagnosis. Though are other things going on I got sick of doctors and am taking a break from them. I feel like a p*ssy. I don’t want to be a waste of space. I try to do housework like laundry or washing dishes and I get so exhausted, that’s all I can do for the day and I feel like a failure. I can’t run anymore, I had to quit a labor intensive job. I can’t find a job. I feel like I can’t do anything anymore. Anyone feel the same way?

4

17

17

Propranolol

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

Tachycardia

Generalized pain

Midodrine

Chronic Tachycardia

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Top reply
    • Jadetealblu

      674d

      @Alliekatt I have inappropriate sinus tachycardia as well. My heart rate went to 190 while I was sleeping. Most of my attacks happen when I’m sleeping or at rest. My condition was diagnosed when the cardiologist put me on an event monitor and they caught the episodes. They stopped acting like I was “crazy” and started seeing that I was really having these attacks of tachycardia.

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    • incogneato

      688d

      I felt that way for a while before I began taking a beta-blocker. I feel like a completely different person now in a good way. I can work and do house chores without feeling like I’m dying

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      • KitKat1450

        687d

        @incogneato so happy you found something that works for you🙌🏼

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    • Alliekatt

      688d

      I also have inappropriate sinus tachycardia and my bom spikes to about 130 just by walking across my apartment most of the time. For about 7 years I got no answers, and have had many other conditions where Specialists just kinda said "screw it- I don't know" and it's extremely infuriating FOR SURE. One condition I've has since age 12 and haven't found treatment that works at all. I've 100% taken doctor breaks for my own mental health related to not getting help. I feel you.

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      • Jadetealblu

        674d

        @Alliekatt I have inappropriate sinus tachycardia as well. My heart rate went to 190 while I was sleeping. Most of my attacks happen when I’m sleeping or at rest. My condition was diagnosed when the cardiologist put me on an event monitor and they caught the episodes. They stopped acting like I was “crazy” and started seeing that I was really having these attacks of tachycardia.

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      • KitKat1450

        687d

        @Alliekatt that’s so infuriating! I’ve had to do the same- take breaks from doctors because them saying idk but that’s crazy rather than trying to help me figure it out takes a toll. When I’ve done this my family gets upset and me trying to explain the effect it has and how draining in every way and they don’t understand makes me feel more alone and like I’m not doing enough. Some days it’s just make it thru the day and that’s enough until feel resilient enough to deal with doctors again and not have a breakdown after. Sorry you’ve dealt with that for so long.

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    • Ryn.Beetle

      688d

      I relate to this so much, and it feels nice that someone knows my pain but it's also sad because I know exactly how hard it is to feel thos way. I haven't been able to work for a year and a half and I often beat myself up for it. I'm sorry you're going through this too.

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    • DieselWeasel

      691d

      What you're describing is totally normal. It's not you it's the disease. My only suggestion would be to increase protein intake and start lifting weights. Seated exercises obviously. You can start with easy stuff like planking or doing pushups. Lifting weights won't just make your heart healthier ,or allow for your heart to pump blood easier because your muscles use less effort but it will make you feel better about yourself.

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      • KitKat1450

        690d

        @DieselWeasel definitely second exercise. I feel much better when I do and more capable. At first I have increase in pain but as I get stronger it subsides and increase my tolerance. Whenever I’ve let my exercise routine slip I start getting worse and feel like my body starts to flare from the smallest things even worse. When I start back in an exercise routine that’s all I schedule for the day is workout and rest so I can get back into it slowly without overloading my body.

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    • KitKat1450

      694d

      Yes so much so! All of my previous jobs involved heavy emphasis on my body and helping people and I loved it. I feel like a piece of me is missing now and I don’t have purpose on most days. It’s so hard going from so capable to ok all have to do today is eat and shower… and that’s going to be tough. It’s frustrating and soul crushing and I’m so sorry you’re going thru it.

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      • DieselWeasel

        691d

        @KitKat1450 the shower is my biggest enemy. It completely drains me.

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        • Blobster

          690d

          @DieselWeasel I understand this completely, I'm the same way 😮‍💨

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    • Kat.Wilder

      694d

      Yeah. I’ve had similar stuff my whole life, and seeing the difference between how me and my peers go about life can really upset me. I just had my homeschool graduation, and will be watching my friends graduate alongside each other in about a week. It’s things like that that I just can’t take, especially after all the work I put in to be “normal.”

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    • Blobster

      694d

      I feel the exact same way honestly, feel free to message me anytime if you ever want or need a little extra support

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    • Beeble

      694d

      hey we totally feel the same way, we used to be super active and now going up stairs can leave us breathless. you're not alone <3

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    • Katie_Grooms

      694d

      Hi, I typed a message but then I deleted itself so I’m typing it again. I have POTS and a lot of other issues. The medications you might want to ask about if you see an autonomic specialist, not a cardiologist, are beta blockers such as propranolol and potentially alpha blockers and a med called mestinon as well as midodrine. Those constrict the veins which help with blood pooling so the blood goes straight back to your heart. Alpha blockers and beta blockers will help your heart rate

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      • Katie_Grooms

        694d

        @Katie_Grooms Exercise, strengthening those veins in your legs, will help as well

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    • MarigoldRae

      694d

      Hi, I don't have POTS but I have been told by a cardiologist that I have something named Inappropriate sinus tachycardia (IST) recent cardiologist totally disregarded this and say it's just my anxiety. I used to skate and be super active with always hanging and going out but not anymore. I totally understand where you are coming from.

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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