Dealing with urges again, I really need some advice. I've been doing great with moving on from my ex and I've actually been feeling a bit happy recently. But there are times where I get overwhelming urges to try and talk with him again, and it gets to the point where I start breaking down and sobbing until I feel sick. I haven't messaged him at all. He wasn't a good boyfriend, he's blocked on everything, and I would like to keep my distance. But I can't help to feel this way sometimes. I don't know why this suddenly started happening, It's been six months since we broke up and I shouldn't even be feeling this way. I would really appreciate some help.
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Hey, it sounds to me that you’re really missing the idea of him, but not your ex himself. Sometimes when I find myself dwelling on exes or people that haven’t been kind to me I think it’s because I’m feeling lonely/isolated and I miss that connection we used to have. Have you been spending time with your friends or family lately? It might be good for you to do something fun with people that support you to get your mind off your ex.
I live w my parents and I do hang out with the few friends that I have but even with that I still feel lonely. I'm very grateful for them being in my life and I appreciate all the moments I have with them but this feeling is just something i've been dealing with since I was a kid.
I think Katy perry once said “it’s never really over, is it?” And I always really liked that quote, because in a big way it’s very true. It’s just that I think of my exes less and less often over the months and years, but sometimes those thoughts come back and it feels like I’m just getting over them again.
Idk how much this can help, but just know I think it’s totally normal. I mean, once upon a time you might’ve really relied on him, and there might’ve been a reason that you’re missing on right now. It takes the brain a while to kick a habit :) <3
thank you so much, it is helpful. i guess i just need to give myself even more time
I understand that feeling completely. I just got out of a relationship that was no good to me but I keep getting the urge to talk to him again and again. I actually started talking to old friends of mine and spending more time with my family. When I do that he is off my mind almost completely.
i get that, but sometimes even when im spending time with people he comes up on my mind. it's starting to fade away nowadays though and luckily i have friends who are understanding of my situation so they even let me vent if i need to. i hope everything is going well for you
Hey I feel you! I was in relationship for 5 years and we are broken up for two years now and it’s been really tough! But lately I’ve been having more distractions for example working somewhere I like, those distractions help me meet new people and experience new relationships. Making new good memories is really important! It takes time just know that you will eventually stop thinking about him as much. This is something I’ve struggled with even in short term relationships.
thank you for the advice. I try to keep busy as much as I can but I guess I still have those days where I don't feel like doing anything
The Devil doesn't bargain, he'll only break your heart again it isn't worth it darling, nothings gonna change.
They will groom you into thinking they have changed, and then the abuse will be way worse than it was last time. Going back until you hate them isn't a good or safe option.
And until you have sat down and gotten to know yourself, found self respect and love; you will be emotional depending on people, And toxic people will choose you since your so emotionally vulnerable. Toxic people choose there victims.
It's painful, being with yourself. But it's a necessary healing journey and process in order to be ok.
you're right. I never considered this. I always thought he was so sweet and I guess sometimes I forget that he sort of love bombed me. thank you so much. I'll try to see what I can do
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