Struggling to Connect with Others

Yes I want to find a partner and be in a healthy relationship but I can't seem to make it happen. Been single for going on 8 years and starting to feel like it's just gonna be this way with me forever because I've been thru so much trauma that even going on a date can be a trigger. Ugh I know how you feel. I'm sorry!!

I have been having a very difficult time with this and have for the majority of my life. My good friend describes building a relationship with me to building a relationship with a stray dog and that’s how I’ve thought about it too. It’s so difficult for me to trust in any kind of way or to be vulnerable. What’s been important in my life is to surround myself with good people. Way easier to say than to do obviously. I also find one person and peruse that relationship, I can have more surface level friendships with most people, but I have the one or two people that I’m really close to and trust. I have been having a hard time with this. Any wrong move my trust will be broken and it will never be the same and I don’t even have a choice in it my brain is just so hard wired

All the time. And whenever I try it just feels like I am a burden to everyone around me. It's exhausting.