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vy1

675d

So last year i was in a very toxic friend group, and was sexually persuaded by my friend, who knew that I am a lesbian. They are male and use he/they pronouns. They made me feel very uncomfortable, and after a while I told them to stop. They started guilt tripping me and saying that its nothing sexual, that we’re just good friends like that. I stood my ground and told them that I wasn’t okay with that and that they should stop or i don’t want ro be their friend anymore. Their actions included things such as pushing me onto their lap, sending sexual photos of themselves and asking me to send mine so we can “compare” them. At the time I was dealing with serious childhood trauma resurfacing, so whenever i received anything, no matter if I liked it or not, i felt obligated to give something in return. This made me feel extremely dysphoric and disgusted with myself. After I confronted him, they had the nerve to be mad at ME. They were upset with me and made me uncomfortable to hang out in our friend group. There was also a couple in our friend group who made me feel dysphoric as well, because he girl i had feelings for was “experimenting” with me and basically using me for sexual favors whenever she felt unsatisfied with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was also an ass, and whenever her and I hung out he felt the need to come over and be by her, because he felt threatened by me being a lesbian. I asked her if we were ever going to be anything serious and she laughed at me. I felt used and disgusted with myself. Now i’m out of that toxic friend group, but i have to avoid my school club and various lunch spots because when I see them i feel nauseous. I don’t know how to overcome it and I missed so many fun club hangouts because i felt so uncomfortable i had to avoid them at all costs. I have another two years of highschool to go. I can’t transfer. How can I get over this?

Top reply
    • MidlightTheNightFury

      219d

      @MidlightTheNightFury I did follow through with Miss Anderson’s advice for a while but unfortunately with my childhood trauma myself then when I was still getting people being nasty to my every single day of my life I should’ve been dead I should still be but anyway I lost everything I had I then only got ever involved with teachers as friends because I couldn’t trust anyone that were in school with me but if you haven’t got that issue go for it and hold your ground

    • MidlightTheNightFury

      219d

      You could try and still go if you like doing things like the after school clubs but you don’t need to speak to them I understand how you feel because I had a similar situation but the only difference was I had a teacher that I was very comfortable with and she was comfortable with me I’m a lesbian myself but as I was explaining the teacher was called Miss Anderson she was amazing she couldn’t help you enough I went to her and spoke to her about what had happened to me and the fact I wanted to avoid a certain person but I couldn’t go to my after school clubs or clubs at school she told me to just go for it if they say anything to you report them to a teacher

      • MidlightTheNightFury

        219d

        @MidlightTheNightFury I did follow through with Miss Anderson’s advice for a while but unfortunately with my childhood trauma myself then when I was still getting people being nasty to my every single day of my life I should’ve been dead I should still be but anyway I lost everything I had I then only got ever involved with teachers as friends because I couldn’t trust anyone that were in school with me but if you haven’t got that issue go for it and hold your ground

    • LadyTauriel

      673d

      I feel that. People you thought were your friends, but then betray you in the worst way. It's ok to be upset and to mourn the loss of who you thought they were. I see a psychiatrist for medication and a therapist to work through my trauma. My inbox is always open if you ever need to talk.

      • vy1

        672d

        @LadyTauriel Thank you so much! Yes, i definitely mourn the loss of what I thought we had, which is very disconnected from the actual situation. I’m currently getting set up for an intake for medication! Thank you so much, that is so sweet! I wish you the best, and my dms are also always open for whenever you need the reassurance, support, or just someone to listen <3

    • NickGobes75

      673d

      It’s going to take time. Do you talk to a therapist/counselor/professional? That may help a lot. Since this is dealing with past trauma, this is much more complex than simply getting over it, unfortunately. But, with time, you will heal. Just remember it was not your fault in any way. I’m not sure if that helped but that is the best advice I have. I’m also very glad you realized you deserve so much better than that. You will find people who migrate to you who are healthier. It takes time.

      • vy1

        672d

        @NickGobes75 Hi! Yes I do see a therapist, but I have only recently realized how bad this was for me, and I don’t know when I’ll see them next time :( Thank you so much, I do have to remind myself from time to time that it wasn’t my fault, and you reaffirmed that for me. Thank you <3

    • lawrah

      674d

      Oh no! I'm so sorry you went thru that. Glad you got out of that friend group.

      • vy1

        674d

        @lawrah Thank you! I’m very happy i got my senses straight and realized I was worth better <3

        • lawrah

          673d

          @vy1 you are! You'll make real friends I have faith.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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