csk

212d

i had a falling out with a friend group a few years ago that still affects me bc the rejection and trust issues sting. they basically told me we weren’t as close as we used to be (making me feel like i perceived our friendships inaccurately), they felt like they have to walk on eggshells around me to not hurt my feelings, and others things that made me feel gaslit. is what they said fair or did i actually attract friends that were not good for me? i have quiet bpd so i never fought with them, which made me even more insecure that the one time we did, they dropped me immediately. it definitely hurts and i know i’m sensitive but i really don’t think i deserve this

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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  • futuristicfox4

    212d

    I had this happen to me sooo many times and after losing so many "friends" in my life, I have come to the conclusion that if a friend or group of friends suddenly turn on ya out of the blue, them they weren't meant to be permanent people in your life, which I realized recently is actually good, not bad. Cause the people in my life who truly care are still around despite my flaws and imperfections and mental illness. I know its easier said than done to accept this, especially with the fear of abandonment issues lingering in the background. You definitely did not deserve it. I'm sorry you were hurt, people suck. You'll find better people. ♡

    • csk

      212d

      yes i’m telling myself over and over they weren’t true friends if they dipped when i needed help the most. it just doesn’t hurt any less, but some days it helps to know that we had some good times but i need to just let it go

    • csk

      209d

      thank you so so much 😥

  • Cinnawut

    212d

    It hurts to lose friends. Try to accept that friends may not be permanent but you will always have the love they gave you while you were close. One why I’ve addressed loss like this is through bryon Katie’s merhon in her book ‘loving what is’ its on YouTube if you think that might help you.

    • csk

      212d

      that sounds great i’ll have to check it out, thanks!!

  • Leaves

    212d

    Losing friends is very triggering for me as well! Especially because I love and love hard it really feels like a true betrayal when someone drops me like I was nothing, especially if it is someone I have opened up to about my mental health. I’ve had many friends come and go, I’m not one of those people who see the same friends all the time but it has caused me to not treat my friends the way I used to because I just figure they’re all going to leave me too 😥 that’s one of those big things I feel like I struggle with that I thought no one else understood. (I have quiet BPD but have definitely had a couple of outbursts throughout the years depending on the situation)

    • csk

      212d

      that is soooo me!!!! i love the way you put it, you love hard and for some it feels to be too much. i just want to find friends that value me equally :(

  • manicpixiedreamgirl

    212d

    I've been in your shoes here too. It sucks so much and as a quiet BPD sufferer it can come as a total surprise. What I will say is the handful of close friends I have are people who are patient and willing to assert their own boundaries as well as respect mine, and while there are only 3 of them they are a wonderful support system. The friends who "can't handle you" would have found a reason to leave anyway.

    • csk

      209d

      this is a great way to look at it! i also have about 3 good friends too i can always count on that are endlessly patient and understanding and have loved me unconditionally for years. sometimes i catch myself wishing i could find more people like that, but i should be grateful for the few i do have!

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