K.C

169d

Anyone else a little bit older (30+) and just now realizing their triggers? One of mine is apparently my brother.. Heard he was coming by and I stopped smiling for a week, constant anxiety attacks, a couple panic attacks, and I hardly said a word to anyone 😔 this was all noticed by my husband. I felt off but didn’t realize it was that bad.. I knew I was quiet and didn’t really want to talk but didn’t know I had practically stopped speaking.. I feel incredibly stupid being this far into adulthood and just now realizing he is a huge trigger and I mean HUGE. I’m hoping though that now I can try to dissect it more and get past it. 😣 only thing is the pain and anger in realizations.. now I’m realizing why I absolutely hated anyone grabbing my arms to the point it would cause what I didn’t know at the time was panic when I tried to walk away from a conversation I didn’t want to have anymore and immediately would go in defense mode when they refused to let go or gripped tighter. Come to find out the way I react is a trauma response…. I’m mad and sad all at the same time. Worst part is I’ve told him to his face multiple time “I do not like you” “we are not close” “you and I have problem that cannot be fixed” his responses “ we’re family. You’ll always be my baby sister we have blood” “ we don’t have to talk about that, we’re good” “I’m an asshole *throws hands up and shrugs shoulders and chuckles* you know that”. At this point I feel like the most effective way to never see him again is move to another state but that’s 1 not financially possible and 2 stupid because I shouldn’t have to move or feel like it just to get away from someone who refuses to believe he isn’t liked or wanted in my VERY small circle. Like dude you fuc*ed my mental health up so bad just leave me alone!!!!

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Generalized pain

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Depression

View all
  • LotusFlower

    169d

    Honey, you are so strong. And you are not wrong or crazy, for learning your triggers. You are growing and that is important.

    • K.C

      169d

      thank you. I needed to hear that.

  • lolabell

    169d

    I feel this your not alone keep moving forward the future is bright

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