you're just a person. sometimes people do bad things and make poor choices, and that's okay. it's part of learning. we aren't born knowing right and wrong, and sometimes even when we know something IS wrong, we do it anyway. sometimes it's to see what happens next, sometimes it's because we're upset, sometimes it's for no reason at all. give yourself grace, forgive yourself for what you did even if nobody else has forgiven you, allow yourself room to grow. you're a better person now, and that's more than most people can say

Still trying to find peace with some of the harder hurts from the past. That's one downfall of this magnificent brain we have evolved into...it doesn't let us forget what we really want to. I found Cognitive Processing Therapy helped a bit with some of my real dark ones and made it so I could reframe them and not feel it so painfully inside. But, there is still rarely a moment of the day my brain isn't trying to kill me with memories. I think its normal to feel that way, I wish you the best in making some peace with the memories.

I blame myself and self deprecate. I'm working on it. It's a core branch of my anxiety.