Struggling with Intimacy Due to Partner's Health Issues

My fiance and I went a little over a year without because he has a back injury that makes things not work quite right and because I had a hysterectomy when I was 37 and was in desperate need of estrogen replacement therapy. Also, my mental health meds absolutely killed my desire to be intimate. I've since changed my mental health meds and got on estrogen but it's still a struggle. It helps a lot that he's my best friend and we truly enjoy each other's company so we're working through it. Good luck to you and yours!!

Yes, mine has literally been 0 as of late, because I have been single for quite some time, mostly because I have avoided dating for over a decade because of severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. But to the OP, I am fairly certain that if your husband is indeed having valid migraines and not just using it as an excuse for something else (not saying he is, just being an advocate and making a point hopefully), that it could be a valid reason why he has been struggling with intimacy lately. I know a lot of times, men get a bum rap for being about nothing but 'physical attributes' when it comes to what attracts them, but something most men won't even admit themselves is that the emotional aspects of a relationship can be a lot more influential on a man than any sort of level of physical desire. If a man is simply not feeling good for something as silly as allergies, or in a bad mood/headspace because of depression, too much stress/ anxiety, or whatever he might be dealing with, he will more than likely feel "not in the mood". I recently watched a clip on YouTube where a guy was in the audience a talk show, and they were doing like random questions from the audience, and the guy asked about "things becoming cold in the bedroom", and the host answered "when was the last time you or your spouse tried preheating the oven before complaining about the lack of warmth? People are not microwaves that can just zap to full heat in seconds. More often we're like a gas stove that needs 'preheating' throughout the whole day, with things like compliments, appreciation without criticism, or other things to help him or her feel basic worth and value as a person/human being." and I was surprised how much I couldn't agree more, because even when I was lucky enough to have someone in my life who I was crazy in love with, I still hated myself when I couldn't feel romantic or intimate because of my own headspace, and not being in the right frame of mind to 'desire' them.

✋intercourse leaves me exhausted, achy, and shaking. I honestly can't stand it. It takes a lot for my husband to convince me to get in bed with him. It doesn't mean I dont love him though. I love him plenty, and there are a million and one other ways to tell someone you love them than just s*x. Perhaps there is other forms of physical contact that yall could do that doesn't hurt for him?

I feel so sorry your going through this. I am on the other end of that, meaning I am the one plagued with many health issues. My husband freaks out on me because I push him away. It has never been more then a month without having sex but he is the kind that wants it everyday and he has no health problems so he couldn't possibly know how I feel every day just being present and taking care of our children. I made it a point to start logging everytime we do and not letting it pass a week, so I can help him to understand that it hasn't been as long as he thinks. Have you guys tried anything other then sex to help you feel more wanted by him?