breadbored

327d

I can't seem to control my anxiety. People around me assume my anxiety works the same way as theirs but idk if it does because they haven't been through what I have. They tell me to ride the wave and not give in or let anxiety grow. But it feels so huge. More like a wall that I have to walk through. I panic over the smallest of decisions, and if there's one little thing that I don't understand, then I get overwhelmed and say no to everything, cancel everything and hate myself for it later. Then I feel better and make a bunch of little decisions that I know anxious me will hate and cancel again. It's a vicious cycle, it's like two people trapped in one brain fighting and I can never find any kind of balance. The switch between the two happens so fast and completely at random from what I can tell, one minute I can take on everything and the next, I'm having a breakdown, an attack from within that always feels like it'll be the last thing I know. It seems like extreme mood swings but it's constant, worse the last few months, and that switching back and forth is a compete change in the way I think and it's horribly exhausting. I'm in therapy but it feels like the same thing every visit. I'm not sure what will help me manage this or even where it's coming from? I just want to be like my family for once. I just want to be able to do what they do and not confuse them so much.😔🙃

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • Violet_Beauregarde

    327d

    Look into EMDR therapy for PTSD.

  • Christina56

    327d

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I feel the same way sometimes. A few months ago I signed up for an improv class to help with my anxiety and shyness when I was feeling “good” and now anxious me does not want to return after the 2nd class because it’s getting harder and my anxiety spirals lol I suggest not booking plans anymore than a week out in advance to avoid cancelling too last minuet and when ur making the plans list the pros and cons before agreeing to them. I also like to know everything beforehand as you had mentioned in your post, so ask as many question you need prior to going out or even google the website if you’re going to a specific event/place. Hope this helps. You’re not alone 💕

  • breadbored

    322d

    Interesting that you say that Violet, my therapist is an EMDR therapist but we haven't been doing EMDR. Maybe I should continue that though, it definitely can help. But it also feels kind of intense, you know? It's hard to be doing that and also other important things in life at the same time😅 Thanks for the comment though, I'll bring it up at my next appointment 💕

  • breadbored

    322d

    Christina thank you for the suggestions! Those are all really helpful. I found a job working for a friend who's really flexible. I hope my anxious side doesn't ruin that for me. And I'm terrified of asking simple questions but I try😅 Hey maybe there should be an improv class specifically for the purpose of training anxious people to handle anxiety in the moment, even when things are unpredictable. Lol. Would make an interesting type of therapy!😂

  • Violet_Beauregarde

    318d

    I came back to ask if you possibly have adhd? Maybe take a quiz.

    • breadbored

      314d

      yeah that's possible, it runs in the family. No ones ever really thought I had it, but I took a couple quizzes and scored high. But I suspect it's just really bad anxiety, among other things... but I do get super restless even when I'm doing something fun or something that's really important to me. I get overwhelmed so fast. Before I even start something. But again, could just be anxiety

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