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Do Parents Ever Stop Wanting More Bio Grandkids?

Cece7

461d

No matter how many times I tell my parents I do not want more bio children they seem to not give up on the hope of that occurring. My husband had a vasectomy today and it was “funny” how my parents don’t know anything about this procedure occurring and my mom called me during it asking if we were thinking of having a baby now that we’re in a better place of things. I’m like no. Tried not to laugh knowing my husbands getting his procedure as this question is asked. I don’t know how to deal with this whole thing but I’m sure I’m not alone in it. Do parents ever stop wanting more bio grandkids?? I should mention I’m going through the process of trying to adopt at this moment. I want another kid and my parents support that but for some reason want more bio grandkids as well. I don’t get it.

14

20

20

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Depression

Vasectomy & Vas Ligation

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Top reply
    • KJ_

      461d

      @KJ_ Adoption is a beautiful thing I’ve always considered. Try telling them that IS going to be their grandchild. Why bring more kids into the world when there’s so many kids out there that need a family and don’t have one.

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    • MzsBrownie94

      460d

      Parents always seem to want what they want and not be happy with your blessings. Although I would have loved to have more bio children with my second husband, that was not my blessing. Now I'm old enough that I would like some grandkids. My own kids are 26 and 22 and my stepson is 19...so I shouldn't have to wait too much longer. And since my oldest got married in July, hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later, 😉

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    • busy_bee

      461d

      My partner and I are gay (don't have any kiddos but plan to foster/adopt down the road). We've been together almost 9 years and for YEARS it felt like everyone was hounding us about getting married and always asking if we were going to have kids. Finally found the best response to the kid question: "well we've been trying REALLY hard" 😂 love the shocked reactions from that and stopped the conversation pretty quick. Maybe you could say something like "well ____ got a vasectomy recently but don't worry we're still trying! Keep you posted!" Lol

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    • rjd2018

      461d

      My parents keep asking...and in the same breath they will say "well I'm not trying to pressure you guys to have more kids, I was just curious" Well being curious and not accepting my answer of "we might have one more or might just be one and done" is irritating. Like I do not have a timeline of my life of when we plan to have another kid. "I want more grandbabies" is not going to sway me to have more. This is not the 70s 80s or 90s where there can be a one(ish) income house and survive. My husband is a truck driver and I am a nurse and we are currently living in our camper in my mother in laws backyard. So no we are DEFINITELY not having another kid right now.

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      • rjd2018

        461d

        @rjd2018 So yes I get it

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    • NonbinarySlytherin

      461d

      I haven't wanted to birth kids for over 16 years. I have wanted to foster and adopt. My parents know that. Didn't stop my father from asking my now husband to change my mind months after we started dating. If they keep pestering you, then set up boundaries, consequences, and follow through.

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    • rip_ash

      461d

      Drop the parents. They clearly have no respect for your boundaries or your husband's recovery

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    • Kelbelz

      461d

      I just wish my fiancés parents actually wanted me to have kids. I guess I’m opposite of your problem lol. Every time we talk them we’re having another baby they damn near have a mini life crisis and they do not help at all ever anyway, so it makes no sense why they care but they always make a big deal. We’re on kid number 3 who we had in October. I don’t have parents because they had me so late in life. So what do I do? Have kids late in life 😂 but anyway, back to your post. Be grateful they want you to have children and actually care because there are soooo many people that would kill for your place. It comes from deep love.

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    • FS_cookielove

      461d

      Tell them enough is enough. They're not taking care of them they don't have a say. They can back off or lose all privileges. It may be cute and funny to them but it's not to you and it stresses you out. You would appreciate it if they appreciated you

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      • Cece7

        461d

        @FS_cookielove that’s true. I think it’s getting to that point where I need to draw a line here.

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        • FS_cookielove

          461d

          @Cece7 once you set boundaries and they realize they could lose something they deem important everything changes. I had to do the same with my parents, my mother was abusive and violent and my dad never stepped in.

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    • Zebrapotato37659

      461d

      Prayers

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      • Cece7

        461d

        @Zebrapotato37659 thank you ❤️

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    • BubbleGirl1

      461d

      My son wasn't even 3months old before my in laws started asking when we were ganna have another. I had a C-section mind you and even at 5 months postpartum am still dealing with new pains and such having another baby or even thinking about trying again IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING ON THE TABLE right now. Idk why other people are so entitled to feel they deserve to know what happens behind closed doors of other peoples households

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      • Cece7

        461d

        @BubbleGirl1 I’m sorry you’re going through that, I’m sure that’s so painful! I had nerve damage issues from when I had mine and I’m like never going to do that again too. Aside from the other trauma involved in my pregnancy!

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    • TraumaHarley

      461d

      You're boundaries your life, your guys body. Set a boundary, and be open with them. If they are not supportive then you and your children don't need that in their lives. It could go one of two ways they respect you or they don't and I pray they don't treat the unbio children different. I think you are doing great in doing what is best for you and your husband. And adopting is something I myself want to do as well as have my own. Parents feel like what they say is law, but it's you're life use what they taught you and what makes you feel good. ♥️♥️♥️

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      • Cece7

        461d

        @TraumaHarley thank you for this ❤️ I appreciate it. I do know they will treat them the same but I think they still haven’t fully been on board with this as a first choice option rather than wanting another biological kid.

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    • KJ_

      461d

      What I’m going to suggest is unethical.. but so is pressuring someone into having kids. I read a similar post somewhere and they recommended saying that you had a miscarriage so that they would be too uncomfortable to keep bringing it up.

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      • Cece7

        461d

        @KJ_ I wouldn’t be able to lie about something like that especially when a lot of people I know have struggled through those but appreciate the help!

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      • KJ_

        461d

        @KJ_ Adoption is a beautiful thing I’ve always considered. Try telling them that IS going to be their grandchild. Why bring more kids into the world when there’s so many kids out there that need a family and don’t have one.

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        • Cece7

          461d

          @KJ_ I definitely agree on your second comment too!

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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