Dealing with a Partner's BPD II Rage

Thank you so much! That really warmed my heart! It has been an incredibly long journey. We have been married for about 6 years and this has been a constant fight of them going to get help! I'm actually happy to inform that they finally saw a doctor a few days ago and were officially diagnosed with bipolar depression 2. So they are currently on a mood stabilizer! ( They finally caved due to a huge manic episode that really made them self reflect.) So bittersweet but I think it had to happen. Congratulations on Cali sobriety! I wish you the best of luck and send all my best wishes and good vibes. Also, do you have any tips or useful things you think I should know so I can better understand my partner? Like things you wish people would do or know to help you?

I'm late to this party but I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (firm family history, as I recently learned)- mood vs personality disorders.... I really can't extrapolate on other than I've had two amazing women with BPD in my life who were in therapy, felt it helped them, and I really can't gush about them enough. I had been operating for the last 5 years thinking that I had MDD and GAD. I recently got sober after a year long spiral basically, but I was exceedingly more manic when not in therapy and while abusing alcohol. "self medicating" but really self harming, which in turn evolved into harming those close to me in a binge. I can't stress enough how much any sort of mind altering substance (outside of indica; in a medical/recreational state) has affected my bipolar mind. I feel like I lose that "I am"/true identity, and become more of just an emotional status - " I am sad. I am pissed. I need validation", etc. I'm approaching 3 months "Cali sober" (and in moderation for chronic pain, not as an escape) and I've never felt better. Honestly, no one helped me except my 2 closest friends who realized something was wrong on an evening I really spiraled out. I basically had to lose my connection with my current social circle because it was just "that b**** can't handle her alcohol" and they faded away. That's fine because I've never been so stable and confident in what I can do now that I'm on the other side! From my experience with my BPD ladies that were open enough to share their experiences with me, none of them felt improvement til they got therapy, they both specifically told me DBT based, but I'm no where near an expert. As for your situation, I will say the fact that you're reaching out for advice shows that you care and want to make it work. Do they feel the same? I feel like thats the crux of the situation. If you can't even have that discussion because of the eggshell feeling you're having, would they be open to therapy at all! Couples or solo? I can't speak to your specific situation obviously, but please take care of yourself. Please try to broach your concerns with your partner especially since you said divorce. Give them the chance to take a self inventory and reflect on how they want to proceed. You have the opportunity to help someone you love, they have the opportunity to improve or not. Best wishes in your journey and I think it's awesome you asked for advice! 🤗 -LadyThor

Is your partner male or female? If they are female it could be hormone related. I have PMDD and I get very angry and irritable from the time of ovulation until around the middle of my period. I find my anger also heightens the day before my period is due.

I've never heard of a BPD 2. Only bipolar 2. If they're treating you badly, you should leave or at least take a break. Their mental health is not your responsibility, and mental health is never an excuse to treat someone badly and make them feel this way. You could suggest they get therapy, but if they're unwilling, that's only more reason to leave. You cannot help someone that isn't willing to help themselves

I'm not sure whether you're referring to bpd or bipolar 2 but I have both. For bpd, medications can't help fix it but they can lessen some of the extremes of it. Dbt therapy is the best treatment for bpd. If you're talking about bipolar 2 which is what I have, a mood stabilizer is essential for recovery. I still sometimes get a little mania or depression but it's not nearly as extreme as it was. Therapy can also really help. You just have to have a willing partner who wants to help themselves because honestly they're the only person who can make that change if that makes sense. Like you won't be able to force them and it would be very hard to convince. It wasn't until I fully admitted I have a problem and need help that I was receptive to change.

Irritability can be found in depression (me), bipolar. Borderline personality among others. I hope its not the latter as thats personality not necessarily mood