Hey, just to check, compulsive lying, passive manipulatio...

It’s not, and I have problems with that too sometimes. I usually do it because I feel unsafe around a person for no specific reasons, but still want to talk to them. What I do to combat the behavior is to remind myself that I am in a safe environment(if I am) and with a person who I can trust. And if I don’t know I can trust them yet, then I remind myself this is a good time to see if I can. Because if I don’t I’ll never find out. Hope this helps

They're not good behaviours to have but we all have our "toxic traits" and the first step to changing them is noticing them! Also, most autistic/adhd folks have a lot of childhood trauma and so it's pretty common for us to have personality disorders and such. How we impact others is our responsibility, but developing those behaviours/disorders is not ever your fault <3

Lots of these are learned behaviors that just take time and practice to unlearn. I had this same attitude for quite a while and it took active work to unlearn it all :) especially the compulsive lying. I still feel like relationships are all give or take though if im being honest

Generally little things that don't matter. I have a therapist I just don't trust her enough to bring this up yet. I'll keep what you said in mind, though I haven't noticed any impact on self-esteem or mental health. It actually seems to better both for a temporary period of time on occasion. Which probably sounds bad.