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pandasss

428d

What are some good boundaries to set in a relationship and in general?

Top reply
    • sillyashell

      389d

      I usually start with things that I've identified cause trauma responses for me such as unwanted touching or taking certain drugs around me and then I try to walk through what mental illnesses I have and what would make the relationship harder. As an example, as someone who lacks a lot of emotional empathy, one of my boundaries would be my partner using direct and clear communication when something is wrong because I will not pick up on it otherwise. Then misc stuff that you find out later as the relationship goes on. But as always it really depends on the people in the relationship and if you have trauma/mental illnesses that may require some niche or specific boundaries or you just have stuff you dislike in general. Because I deal with a PD I like to make it a general rule that if the boundary polices someone's behavior *outside* of the relationship (since I struggle with jealousy, an example of that would be telling my partner to not hang out with anyone BUT me) I try to avoid those types of policing behaviors and deal with those conflicts therapeutically instead

    • sillyashell

      389d

      I usually start with things that I've identified cause trauma responses for me such as unwanted touching or taking certain drugs around me and then I try to walk through what mental illnesses I have and what would make the relationship harder. As an example, as someone who lacks a lot of emotional empathy, one of my boundaries would be my partner using direct and clear communication when something is wrong because I will not pick up on it otherwise. Then misc stuff that you find out later as the relationship goes on. But as always it really depends on the people in the relationship and if you have trauma/mental illnesses that may require some niche or specific boundaries or you just have stuff you dislike in general. Because I deal with a PD I like to make it a general rule that if the boundary polices someone's behavior *outside* of the relationship (since I struggle with jealousy, an example of that would be telling my partner to not hang out with anyone BUT me) I try to avoid those types of policing behaviors and deal with those conflicts therapeutically instead

      • pandasss

        389d

        @sillyashell thank you so much love!! This has really helped 💕

    • JumpingMouse

      390d

      I think this can often be personal and differ by person. I found it helpful to write out my boundaries, and I followed a guide online to determine what they are. Maybe this could help you? :) E.g. I will not be disrespected/made fun of, I will not tolerate aggression. Also setting expectations can be really important and differ by relationship. I find Expectations and boundaries go hand in hand. After doing this, consider what you will do if these boundaries aren't respected. Hope this helps 💕

      • pandasss

        390d

        @JumpingMouse Thank you so much, your examples helped me actually understand what boundaries are as well as some good ones to set!! I've been struggling with this for a while so I will definitely start writing some down!!

        • JumpingMouse

          390d

          @pandasss I absolutely relate to this, these things can be hard to understand without examples and more context!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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