Feeling Overwhelmed and Avoiding Responsibilities

But most of all. I need you to realize it's okay to not do anything some days. Let yourself get lost in disassociating. Putting too much on a brain with BPD is already a red flag. The example of this is from my experience so it may not relate to you but I hope it helps somewhat. Imagine you're mad at a child because they can't or won't do chores or their homework. You start putting this pressure on them. (in my case a ton of abuse, this is also when I discovered disassociating) You HAVE to balance it, you HAVE to balance the things the child is capable of and help them with things they can't do alone. The most hateful thing that someone can do is compare people in what they 'should' be able to do. The list of things that a person especially a child who has been hurt or have their mind split or carry too much pressure to handle can do is scarily short. It was hard to understand but eventually I found out that it's okay that I don't do things as long as I try to work on them in my own pace. And if I needed help I asked for it because I'll admit when my room gets too messy I mentally shut down and can not clean it by myself. Everybody still needs help some just need it more often and that's okay. Because from what I see in your post, you're not comparing yourself with people like you with your same conditions or setbacks, you're comparing yourself with what someone who is healthy can do. And as sad as it is we have to fight to be healthy and may never be healthy mentally, so try not to hold yourself to standards you couldn't realistically achieve I wish you good luck though :). Msg me if you wanna talk or anything (this goes for anyone who sees this)

I do this too. I also beat myself up for it too. It’s a means of voluntary dissociation to just let myself get sucked into my phone to distract myself from … well, whatever… noise, overwhelm, anxiety, loneliness, fear, abandonment, boredom, the painful thoughts in my own head. It’s a defense mechanism. It sucks. I tell myself the solution is in addressing what I’m running away from or hiding from and not the behavior itself. There’s no judgement in that. There shouldn’t be judgement in the fact that what you are probably trying to do is either feel better, not feel worse, or just not feel at all for a little while. While it’s good that we are trying to make ourselves feel better and there are better coping mechanisms we can learn, we have to give ourselves a little grace that in those moments, we are doing what we know to do. We just need to learn a new and healthier way to react to what’s hurting us. Which I know often feels like everything.

I do this too, it's like all of my energy to do anything is drained and then I feel guilty for not doing anything all day 😥💕

i feel this completely