MommaTay

269d

I'm so depressed and sick of myself that I'm even starting to be mean to my kid.

I would never harm her or lay a hand on her but she has been feeling my mood lately so wants me to read more to her. I've been so irritated and broken and in a lot of pain from my RA that I just want to be left alone..

My 2yr old brought me her favorite book, usually I laugh and say I'll read it and she will get tired of it and walk away after 3 pages. But this time I just couldn't. She begged and pouted, I said "no thank you, later okay?" but she did her whine dance and I had it. I grabbed the book and threw it on the floor. "No thank you!"

She was mad at me, took her book and sat on the couch making noises (Ik she can't help that)

Idk what to do. I felt so bad but I didn't apologize. It got my message across but she's the one person on earth I always want around even when I'm depressed, but lately I want to get as far away from her and everyone else as soooooon as humanly possible.

I can't go on vacation. I can't go to a mental health facility. I can't speak to my therapist. I'm not sure if I'm spiritual or religious anymore so Idk if I should pray or cry or curse the heavens. Idk. I'm lost. I've never known who I am, now I'm 100% sure that I'm just floating around Earth pretty uselessly.

Idfk what to do anymore. Can anyone relate? Maybe I'm just an asshole and my kid deserves a better mother bc I apparently can't put my feelings aside any longer at least for my kid's sake. 🥺😭

Low Mood

Diabetes Type 2 (T2D)

Depression

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  • lovemeli

    269d

    yes I feel like blah every day because I have depression and not diabetes and I don't know how to keep up with my food plans so I've been moody and cranky and distant to my spouse and my kid, she's a teen and its hard because she always feels like I don't care about her and her feelings, but i can't make her understand that I am not reliable right now I can't function and can barely take care of myself I want to give up all the time on my life and being a parent and a wife it's a daily feeling

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