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CandyFrog

662d

How does one deal with constant judgement and criticism from their parents? I've dealt with it for a long time, and recently my friend got us tickets to a concert in a big city, and my mother has always been pretty paranoid and strict when it comes to this stuff. She keeps saying things like "You're going to do what you want to do so why does it matter what I say? It always goes your way". Mind you, I'm not a person who just goes out and does what they want, I'm almost 22, I still live at home, I don't smoke, drink, or even drive. I'm very sheltered and keep to myself and have literally 1 friend that I barely see, so I'm not this "misbehaved" child that she may think I am. While many may think "She's just worried and wants you safe." I do think of that at times, but I feel there has to be other ways of saying that without saying I only do things "my way" out of being "selfish". Idk, I just hate feeling guilty over these things and wish I could have thicker skin to these types of statements. I would love some advice to this emotional, yet confusing post. If not, I'd love to hear from anyone who sadly may relate in a sense šŸ’œ

Top reply
    • laceyandme

      661d

      I relate i live with my mom and step dad and my mom when i did go out with friends she had to know who's there and what you doing and how long you staying. Its annoying and i never done anything bad either. I dont smoke or drink or drive or have sex. And im 28 years old.

    • laceyandme

      661d

      I relate i live with my mom and step dad and my mom when i did go out with friends she had to know who's there and what you doing and how long you staying. Its annoying and i never done anything bad either. I dont smoke or drink or drive or have sex. And im 28 years old.

    • Y0g1

      661d

      I wonder if her fear is coming across as your disregard for her opinion but her fear is based in something happening to you as a young woman who has been shelteredā€¦ Iā€™m not trying to defend her but I wonder if part of it is fear lashing out on her side in this way. I think itā€™s important to talk to her about this as uncomfortable as it may be- thatā€™s how we (especially those of us living at home have to create the standard that we are not children anymore and we are allowed to make our own choices, as well as being vulnerable enough to say it really hurts or makes me feel like Iā€™m doing something wrong when I want to go out because of the language you use. It also allows you an opportunity to see if what you are hearing is what she is trying to say. Parents making you feel guilty over things sucks especially when you live at home but you are an adult. It took my parents some time to adjust to me being an adult while still living at home just like it took me time to adjust. Thank you for being vulnerable in this post. If nothing else it makes me feel less alone in this struggle and I hope my comment does the same for you

    • PEMprincess

      662d

      I see what your mom wants but what do you want? I cope with my judgy parents by taking their comments as a compass that can guide me, but not as a rule book that chooses for me. It can be tricky if theyā€™ve instilled guilt, fear, or doubt when you try to trust yourself (assuming theyā€™re not on board with your idea), but thereā€™s a lot of life to live outside their bubble and a lot of peace in being confidently you. If your life is a story youā€™re writing by the minute, how do you want it to go? You write that story with every choice you make. You know what you need to be happy. Allow yourself to explore, & to experience. Advice is just advice- even if itā€™s coming from mom, so take what you need from it and leave what you donā€™t. No one is owed creative control over your life story. Next time youā€™re overwhelmed with the outside noise, permission to tune out & ask ourselves ā€¦ What do I want? write a new chapter. (stay safe, stay kind, & stay smart šŸ’)

ā˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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