Dealing with Chronic Pain While High

My physical therapist told me today that my pain may never go away fully, and it's so hard to hear that from a doctor, even when my chronic pain has been going on for 2.5 years. How do you accept that things may never get better? It's really rough for me physically and mentally to think about that, but I know it's a possibility at this point.

plz read if you can. Rant: I have cfs and one of the most annoying thingz is I have chronic pain and anxiety. I am in a LOT of pain like 7-8 level out of 10. its horrible and irs that kinda pain that doesn't let you sleep. I woke up at 3pm yesterday after falling asleep at 4am the day before. now its 6.20am and I couldn't sleep all night because of my pain and my brain yelling at me. I have some kind of ocd intrusive thoughts bull going on constantly saying stupid shit that I know is stupid but it gets In my head and I panic. like today it was: I had another blood clot and I need to cut it out by stabbing the area wirh a knife or I will have a heart attack because thw clot turns into a PE then it was saying I can't do anything because then my lungs will collapse if I stab myself and then I will die suffocating and of blood loss etc. lucky the pain has subsided a bit (5-6) so i can sleep somewhat now but I'm now going to probably sleep for 24 hours again and it sucks. I spend most of the day in bed, today I couldn't even put away a few dishes downstairs without feeling like I climbed mount snowdin! (and yes I have done that before i got I'll and I want to do it again if i get better) it doesnt help that I dissasociate and have in the past hurt myself in a bad dissasociative state. cut my mouth open and needed 20+ stitches. stabbed myself woth a fork, scratched my head and face till i blead and had gouge marks and scratch marks, smashed my head against walls. (im jist going off what people have told me as i dont even remember 1/8 of it.) those are extremes and usually I can stop a disassociation or be able to control it so I don't leave completely. when i can't sleep and am in pain I can't stop it as easily and i don't realize I'm dissasociating as I'm already so tired amd can't move well. I'm in the uk and I don't want to go to hospital. so I'm trying to not go but its getting harder. rant over.

when crying does anyone else get the sensation of vibration in their ears? I'm having a really really hard time right now. was attempting to be intimate with my partner, which is hard enough with fucking SA trauma, and instead my body decided it was perfect time for a flare up and my body started aching and hurting and cramping and I just broke down. I'm in agony mentally, emotionally, and physically. everything is pissing me off every little itch, noise, and sensation just makes me wanna stab the next person who breaths near me.