Struggling with Disordered Eating

I went to a therapy appointment back at the beginning of July and of course my nurse weighed me. last time I was weighed, I was 126 lbs. she said I was 128. my heart sank and I voiced my thoughts. She said it was good I gained 2 lbs but I didn't say anything else on the subject. I got home and had to eat dinner but I felt so disgusted with myself every bite I took. I don't see protein or benefits of food anymore. I look at it and I see calories... I just see myself gaining more weight...💔 someone help. I'm tired of being disgusted. I wanna eat and for once not get sick at even the thought of food. 💔