How have you all dealt with a traumatic experience that wasn't death? I've dealt with death. I've had to deal with the aftermath of my own suicide attempt for a little over a year. my older sister who is a mother to me though our mom is still in our lives almost died late April after slipping into a diabetic coma. she's been out but had to go back recently for an abscess removal in her stomach and is still going to have to go through a long recovery. I self harmed when I couldn't get the image out of my mind when she was in the coma and I wanted to go just in case that was the last time. but it fucked me up. and since I haven't been able to find a temporary therapist yet, I'm having a hard time reliving it. she's fine. and since my asthma has been bad, I've avoided the covid heavy hospital. but she is my rock. and now i just feel like it's all too much
I’ve been through long term trauma, but never event-based trauma. I’m so sorry if I can’t help!
But what’s helped me are things like grounding. When I have self harm thoughts (they’re usually in the form of nasty day dreaming, then turn into harsh nail biting or squeezing, I’ve never drew blood outside of biting my nails), I try my best to bring myself back into everything around me. I feel the weight of my body, the chill of the bathroom floor, etc. I have no idea if that’s any help, but please know I do want the best for you, and please just let me know if you would like any support! Honestly, I still find grounding incredibly hard because I’m kind of addicted to my thinking patterns. It’s a slow process for me. ❤️
I guess my techniques are strange, but I make sure I absorb unwanted feelings little by little. I keep it to a 3/10, but I make sure it’s the raw feeling. It helps a ton when someone helps me feel loved too, while I’m expressing these sorts of feelings. As long as I’m outside of my comfort zone while expressing it, for some reason processing is so much easier.
Just allow yourself to exist. Because you deserve to take up room in this world :) please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help
no, it's okay. I unfortunately use cutting as my grounding. I get out of my head and am back to now. I know it's not good. I talked to my psychiatrist and he knows, but he also said that when things help, it's hard to snatch them. I guess like quitting cold Turkey. Harmful and I don't condone it because it hurts and scars, but the pain brings me back if I can explain it like that.
that makes sense! I would have never thought of it that way. I always saw self harm as a way of getting out of reality, rather than getting out of your head. Thank you for explaining that to me.
Could distractions help at all? I’ve met some people that say certain YouTubers/movies/albums get them back in the real world again. It doesn’t work perfectly for me, but I wondered if it might for you? I also feel that some gardening helps me a lot too.
oh dear, i'm so sorry you're having to go through this! i think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to be patient and kind with yourself. take care of yourself. talk yourself through hard situations. think about how your older sister might take care of you, and try to replicate that with yourself. feel free to send me a dm <3
I take things one day at a time. I cannot predict how I'll feel, and at times it feels like the flashbacks don't end, but taking things one day at a time can help. You can message me if you wanna talk more about it.
You could FaceTime with you sister for reassurance that she is ok, since you're unable to do personal visits. But I would consider long term therapy to help you overcome your codependent tendencies toward her. Until you realize that you can exist in a healthy state without your sister as your primary support then you will always have an overwhelming fear of losing her. It's perfectly normal to be upset by the thought of losing a loved one, but not to the degree that you are experiencing.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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