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Struggling with My Dad's Illness and Sleeping Alone

roseinlandfill

685d

it's hard when everything is crazy my dad in hospital and the house empty but the bed more empty my dad and I co sleep because I have night taters and he has cancer and heart problems and I watch him breath at night up and down up down but he's not hear I been going bed empty I been sleeping on his side of the bed than mine but I don't hear him breathing I hear nothing place dark I see nothing and when that feeling comes I start panic I ketch my self waking up looking dad's clock see the time then go sleep then clock shows different time I find my self moody and I feel Tigard scard anxiety up the roof

2

5

5

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Lung Cancer

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Top reply
    • wise

      684d

      @roseinlandfill it sounds like you may be a little codependent, have you looked up coping strategies for people in codependent relationships? even if that's not what's actually happening, they could still be helpful for you. This sounds emotionally intense and hard for you to handle. I'm sorry you can't stay with him at the hospital, although I can tell you it wouldn't matter if this happened pre-pandemic. Most cancer wards are filled to the brim with severely immunocompromised people, they don't like having any visitors in at all anyway and except for end of life visitation, kids under 12 aren't allowed in at all. This is hard, probably the hardest thing you'll ever go through in your whole life. Take it one day at a time and be nice to yourself. You'll be okay 💕

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    • TLR

      685d

      That must be so hard. I dont know what I will do if my parent would pass away. I will say many prayers for you and your family that he will get well. Medicine and self care eating healthy and walks and hobbies help my anxieties and listening to music and meditation music too.

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      • roseinlandfill

        684d

        @TLR thank you and he's only parent I have he's my adopted dad but he's More than dad he's my friend I don't have friends I do but thy feel like only person knows me better dad and I'm his care giver I do things make him better but I ty clean up house or something I stop cry I made 7 cups tea the way he makes it and put on desk for him say hear dad but don't hear thank you and I love you

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    • wise

      685d

      Are you not allowed to stay with him in the hospital? Is he in the ICU? if there's a good chance he's coming home, just hang in there, maybe listen to music or white noise when you go to bed. get an extra pillow or blanket so you have that physical contact. If the worst case scenario happens, get a body pillow and a white noise machine. Make sure you have a friend come by and check on you. If you have a therapist, make an emergency appointment. Whatever happens, you'll be okay. You'll get through the scary, lonely parts

      1

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      • roseinlandfill

        684d

        @wise I tryed stay overnight at hospital but thy said I can't because covid he not icu he's in cancer floor he was there Wednesday Thursday and Friday Saturday and going to in there Sunday and Monday maybe leave Tuesday or Wednesday if everything is ok I tryed everything hugging pillows but not working I sleep then wake up in panic looking around house saying dad are you home then I'm like oh crap he's in hospital we call say goodbye I ask him every night daddy can snuggle in he said you you can we lol but I say I miss you next to me he said I know he he misses waking up and seeing me a sleep quite calm he said I watch you sleeping I miss it so much I cry because I hear his voice and and I can't feel him

        0

        Reply
        • wise

          684d

          @roseinlandfill it sounds like you may be a little codependent, have you looked up coping strategies for people in codependent relationships? even if that's not what's actually happening, they could still be helpful for you. This sounds emotionally intense and hard for you to handle. I'm sorry you can't stay with him at the hospital, although I can tell you it wouldn't matter if this happened pre-pandemic. Most cancer wards are filled to the brim with severely immunocompromised people, they don't like having any visitors in at all anyway and except for end of life visitation, kids under 12 aren't allowed in at all. This is hard, probably the hardest thing you'll ever go through in your whole life. Take it one day at a time and be nice to yourself. You'll be okay 💕

          1

          Reply

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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