Struggling with Hypersexuality and Shame

idk how helpful this is but I went through something similar for years following my first assault. My hypersexuality lead to even more sexual trauma for me over the years, and it was running my life for years and it felt like it was ruining my life for almost a decade. idk if it started this way or not, but it definitely became a form of self harm for me. I lost so many friends and partners and family members and kept finding myself in dangerous situations because it was familiar at that point, and I felt like all of my worth was tied to how much I could be sexualized. I feel like in a way, my hypersexuality was a way that i could more easily blame myself for the trauma I went through, and if I could put the blame on myself, then in a weird twisted way I felt more in control of a situation I very much had no control over. It's been a very rocky road in my recovery and it took a lot of therapy and mostly time and distance from the original source of my trauma to even recognize the hypersexuality as a trauma response and not an innate flaw in my character. It's still hard now at 25 to try and separate myself from my past, and the stigma against sex in general definitely made the whole experience way more isolating and a lot harder to recognize that it wasn't my fault or an indication that I'm a bad person. I know now that I am more than my sexual history or "sex appeal", even if my brain doesn't always let me feel like that's true, I know on some level that it is. I'm still working on creating a healthier for me relationship with my own sexuality, and it's been really hard as I have so many negative experiences tied with sex, and I still go through periods when those old feelings of shame and disgust towards anything about me that can be perceived as "sexual" come up, but I'm in a much better place than I was 10 years ago, and even in a better place with it than I was a year ago. It's been a very gradual process and there's been quite a bit of pain along the way with relapses and a lot of grief over lost friendships and relationships, but its been worth it. Sorry for the long reply, but I just want to reiterate that you aren't alone in this, despite how isolating it feels. Hypersexuality is a very common response to trauma, and I'm so sorry that you not only had to go through the initial trauma, but also all of the pain and stigma that was unfairly put on you for a very normal response to said trauma. There's nothing you could have done to deserve that, you are not to blame. I hope I'm not overstepping here, but I also wanted to say that I am proud of you, recognizing and healing from trauma like this is not an easy task at all, but you are healing, and even if it doesn't feel like it, you are making progress, and that's a huge success in my eyes