Managing Anger: Tips and Tricks

Sometimes for me, I’ll get triggered and immediately brush it off and act like everything is fine, but the triggered feeling stays. And whatever emotion that is, it comes right with me wherever I go. It’s usually what causes me to go from “0” to 100. In reality I was probably at like a 5 or 10 but it felt and looked like 0. Anyway, my point is I try to resolve my triggers asap. So if my boyfriend says something that rubs be the wrong way, instead of just telling myself to get over it I’ll tell him “I don’t like how you said that, it really irritates me” and I’ll even follow with something like “but I don’t know why”. Stating your feelings to the person who triggered you can actually help a LOT with processing the feeling. The thing with BPD and being aware is we tend to know when we are being irrational and we try to stuff it down and ignore it so we don’t react. For instance if my bf says “sure” and my first thought is “omg he just said sure he doesn’t even actually want to do x but he’s saying sure to get me to shut up etc etc” like we all know he probably did not mean it like that lol. But the unresolved emotion will often follow you even if it’s irrational. Recognize, state, and confront the emotion. Sorry this was so long, this is the best way I have found to “prevent” meltdowns. It’s not a perfect fix but it helps me a lot💕

this is immensely helpful guys! i’ve heard great things about DBT, and i can’t remember who posted a DBT workbook here but i just saw that i saved a link to it if y’all are also interested! i just ordered it 💓 The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MMQ95VG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_9X0F7XT1Z03ECKVFY1XG?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

dbt skills! try to use mindfulness & observe when you feel the anger coming on. use wise mind to decide if your emotion is appropriate for the situation, & if it is effective. visualization techniques work really well too. im not doing it justice by explaining like this lol but there are some very effective skills to learn. they’ve gotten me to come down from a LOT of rage

I personally haven't found any solutions, but when I find myself getting angry for no reason I try to give myself some alone time so I can relax. It usually takes around an hour on average for me to calm down but it does work. Then I'm able to have an actual conversation with my bf. I feel you, BPD is incredibly hard to deal with.