Living with a Disorder: What to Expect?

1) anything but consistency. alters will be triggered by different things, randomly go in and out, and probably put you all in inconvenient situations. that’s just a part of the disorder, and it can be manageable. 2) you need to be willing to be responsible. system accountability requires you to understand that despite your alters being individual, you are still all collectively responsible for any wrongdoing. it is your brain, after all. 3) planning ahead is extremely important. whether it be negotiations, deals, etc. some alters will need boundaries on when and when not to front. 3) that being said, communications gonna suck. its easy for some, but for most, its a nightmare to try and clearly converse with one another. writing notes irl or in an app can help. i recommend the app simplyplural. 4) not everyone can enter the headspace or entirely leave front. i still cant, most of the time. thats okay. you are no less of a system if you cannot go into the headspace. 5) the impostor syndrome is constant. it can get better, but you will always have the “what if im faking” mentality creeping up on you. the comforting fact is that nearly every other system feels the same, a lot more than you’d expect. 6) the stigma is ass the the mental health industry does not quite understand, most of the time. following other blogs or accounts and reaching out to people with the disorder can help tremendously, especially those who discuss their real world experiences with having it. it’s important to be wary of people who support the idea of traumaless DID, also called endogenics. “gateway systems,” “quoigenic,” “walk-ins” etc are things you should avoid. 7) final fusion is not for everyone, and neither is functional plurality. its okay if your whole system wants to fully integrate, and its okay if not. its often a decision systems do not make for a long time. 8) you can still live a happy life. its entirely possible for you to have loving relationships, friendships, hold jobs, and enjoy yourself. you will find a way that works for all of you. your whole system can have needs met and still be happy. it takes work, but it can happen. 9) integrations, dormancies, and splits can and will happen, and it will likely cause you to be upset. thats okay. you are allowed to mourn alters that were close to you. they are just as much friends as anyone outside of your system. 10) persecutors are NOT evil. while you may have some alters who make decisions that you question or that are self destructive, ultimately they are not out to hurt you on purpose. all alters have reasons for formation, even if we do not know it. 11) you are LOVED. you are so, so loved, by your friends, other systems in this space, and by your own headmates. you arent weak or broken, either. you are loved.