I've been a complete depressive lump since my partner had to move out, and I don't know how to drag myself out of it. I wish I was the kind of person who could just up and leave without planning things, so I could've said yes to going along immediately, but the thought just makes my brain go "aaaaa" so I couldn't and I have to wait until she finds an apartment and comes back for me/I make my way out there, hopefully not on a plane because fuck that shit.
and of course this all happened right around the exact time my seasonal depression kicks in.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could say least will myself to get dressed and stream on some days, but even after deciding on pursuing a job on my own hours doing what I love from home, I can't even find the motivation to do that.

I keep going to bed early because I'm just so sad. I hate this. I always hate this time of year, but of course it has to suck extra this time.

sorry for the rant dump.