skull_girl

171d

Hello! This is my first post here ^-^

I struggle mostly with my ocd, fibro, and depression/anxiety, but here I'd like to talk mostly about the former two because I really don't have anyone I can relate with these conditions IRL. Plus, they've been with me as long as I can remember, my family saying I've been showing symptoms from as young as a year old!

My ocd has come in many fun ~flavours~ over the years but my constant struggle has always been mysophobia. I tend to get labelled a drama queen for it and have even had people attempt to manipulate me using my own mental illness against me (I wear makeup a lot bc it's what makes me happy. A cis male family member does not like this and tried to convince me that the makeup is dirty as well and I'm dirtying my face with it. Luckily he was unsuccessful bc only I know how to best manipulate my illnesses 😋 And also, fuck him). It's so hard to try to explain the feeling of being dirty to my friends + family and why I dislike it so much. The only thing I've seen coming close to relating to this has been the song Saline Solution, lol--even though it's more related towards fear of illness, it was still nice nonetheless to have something to relate to for once ^^

In regards to fibro, I'm actively trying to get a diagnosis! I've always had hypersensitivity and weird pain issues. The only thing is, I'm kind of used to the pain at this point, and have been used to it for awhile, so I've only recently started talking about my issues and seeing a lot of similarities between myself and people with fibromyalgia. And the pandemic has made it a lot worse for me, as my mental issues worsened and I was getting little to no exercise. But I'm working myself back to the point where I can have what I consider normal pain levels again!! I'm also starting a pain diary both to help with my diagnosis and to track which habits will make it better or worse.

I apologize for this being so much, I had a lot to say!! Please hmu if you are interested in talking, and I hope you all have a great day :-)

Depression

Fibromyalgia (FM)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Anxiety (Including GAD)

View all
  • Kbot

    171d

    Don't apologize for "being so much," being here is meant for this kind of stuff exactly :) I have OCD too and would love to talk about stuff!

  • Aquapalooza

    169d

    I have OCD too and can relate to having no irl friends. I'm curious though, what is Mysophobia?

    • skull_girl

      169d

      It's an intense fear of germs or being dirty. Personally, even the feeling of being dirty (even when not) can bother me, and I have to immediately wash or sanitize my hands afterwards to feel clean. I can't touch a lot of things, including doorknobs, handles, soap/cleaning bottles, money, etc without having to sanitize afterwards. I hope this explains it well !

      • Aquapalooza

        165d

        Oh! I used to have that myself. I was able to get better with it with over a year of dedicated exposure therapy.

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