Struggling with Mental Health: My Story

I don't want to live like this anymore. I hate how stupidly sensitive I am. I hate how my childhood has ruined my adulthood. I hate that I'm existing like an object, not knowing what it means to live. I hate how every emotion other than euphoric bliss is a crime. I hate how my tears are mocked simply for being. I hate how everyone cares so much until I show symptoms. I hate how everything beyond my control is "my fault". I hate how being upset by insults is painted as "my problem". I hate how I "always do this" or "always act like this". I hate myself, and I hate this life. I just want to be rid of worry and to truly feel peace for once in this cesspool of an existence. In short, if my family wanted an emotionless robot, they should have bought a fucking Roomba instead.