Struggling to Pull My Own Weight While Living with My Mom

I'm a 32 year old woman who lives with her 56 year old Mom. We both work from home. its a good deal because I get affordable rent ($400 plus utilities) and she gets income towards her house mortgage. We also split the groceries. She definitely pulls more weight with dishes, laundry and cooking though. We split the cost for someone to do a deeper clean once a month, so I feel less guilty about my lack chores which is hard to do because of ADHD, OCD, and OCD Hoarding type. She is always going to feel like I don't care about what she wants because I don't do the tasks she asks me to do when she pulls most of the weight. And I am always going to feel like a disappointment, I suck, I'm a failure, because I can't prevent her stress and her being mad towards me. Because I can only prioritize my tasks of minimal chores and hygiene. It takes an extreme amount of resources to add additional things. How do you all deal with the constant tension of not being able to pull your own weight because of invisible disorders, the constant self disappointment, guilt and shame that comes along with. It's horrible to always be letting others down. Any advice on how you manage would be greatly appreciated. It feels like a vicious loop, with an explosion about once a month.