Discovering My Biological Father's Dark Past

In 2019 I was helping my mom clean out her garage. I found a box with her name on it from when she was younger more or less before I was born. Inside was my biological father’s information. I asked my mom for weeks about hun with no luck. But finally she started to talk. I found out that a few days after finding out my mom was pregnant with me he made her some tea and when she turned it away he became violent nd tried to stab my mom in the stomach. A neighbor heard and banged down the door. My biological father ran nd my mom never heard from him again. My mom requested that the cops test the tea. Two weeks later a female cop came and informed my mom “ mam thank god you didn’t drink that tea. Even the smallest sip would have killed your unborn child. You saved your babies life. I wish more mom fought as hard as you did to save your child”. Recently I tracked him down , my biological father has been sentenced to 145 years in jail for r&pe charges on minors and 60 years for the r&pe of an elderly woman. I’ve been trying to figure out how I should feel about this. I no it hurts my mom to talk about it and I’ve decided not to burden her with that pain anymore then she has already faced. My problem is that I’m trying to understand what would make a man not only try to harm his unborn child but also commit such a violent act on young adults.. young girls in that fact. My mom has told me that as far as he knows… I was never burned so he doesn’t even no that my mom nd I survived his attempted stabbing. I’m 25 now I’m engaged and live with my fiancé and little puppy. We are trying to conceive a baby of our own. I already suffered with depression but I can’t help but wonder if all these years of not knowing who I came from nd then finding out what happened might be aiding in my already horrible situation dealing with my depression and anxiety. I needed to vent. Thank you.