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YoursTrulyNavy

460d

TW: SA I’ve been no-contact with my dad for the past six years now since I reported him for sexually abusing me and he went to jail. He’s been living out of the house ever since, but the rest of my family still maintains a pretty normal relationship with him, since my mom controls the narrative about what happened to my extended family and convinced everyone that my dad DIDN’T abuse me and didn’t deserve to go to jail for it. They even got together to celebrate the day he got out of jail, which by doing so, they also celebrated the day he abused me the worst (it happened to fall on the same day). Anyway. I’ve gotten over that, but what still hurts is holidays, when everyone else in the family has a separate celebration with him because he can’t come to the main family gatherings since I’m there. And then they try to hide it from me, but they don’t do a very good job. I always find out. Just earlier tonight I found out that my entire extended family had a whole Christmas celebration with my dad, just without me and my siblings. I don’t know if it’s because Christmas is very important to me, but it made really really upset. More upset than usual. I usually brush this question off, but this time I’m really hung up on how in the world they can have friendly relations and family gatherings with the man who fucking abused me for years. I’ve told most of them my side of the story, but I think the damage from my mom has already been done. No one in my family understands this or really believes with me, which is why I don’t think I can ever have a super close relationship with my extended family. I’m so sad and angry about it. On Christmas Eve too.

Top reply
    • YoursTrulyNavy

      418d

      @PickleNew Thank you 💖

    • PickleNew

      420d

      That's just plain horrible there's not even a word I can give it. If you want someone to chat with I'm here. I know it's a bit late since this post came out.

      • YoursTrulyNavy

        418d

        @PickleNew Thank you 💖

    • Anura

      460d

      I'm so sorry. Family should never be the source of this kind of betrayal in my opinion, but unfortunately they often are. I'm lucky to have an immediate family who believes and supports me, but this time of year is hard for me too because of my extended family (it was my uncle). He could never be prosecuted for what he did to me and my cousin, and most likely others, but he's not allowed to come to family functions anymore for the last few years. We don't talk about it, so it's impossible to know if people believe it or resent us for it. I'm not sure if this helps, but sometimes hearing other people's similar stories helps me practice compassion towards myself, as I wouldn't treat another victim the way I treat myself. I want you to know you're not alone, and your family isn't the only one that's screwed up - and most importantly, you didn't do anything wrong. Your father is the one who screwed up your family and should be in jail for life. Your mom should support you instead of your abuser, and the same goes for the rest of your family. I wish you the best in your recovery, and remember, it's okay if you just survive the holidays this year (and every year).

      • YoursTrulyNavy

        459d

        @Anura Thank you 🥺 That means a lot of hear 💕

        • Anura

          453d

          @YoursTrulyNavy You're welcome 💚

    • Loz

      460d

      I’m so sorry to hear this happened- it’s awful! Message me if you need to vent it’s always a hard time of year although the most amazing time of year too ❤️ sending love ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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