_Robbie_

187d

I need opinions on a situation.

Basically I spilled food in the car so I got stressed and I cried about it and my mom got irritated with me and I said she was being mean to me (wrong I am just a sensitive bitch) so that made her mad so she thought it'd be a good idea to call me an insensitive cunt. Obviously it hurt my feelings but it's probably definitely true.
So then she told me to sit down and tell her what happened. Was gonna say I was stressed and she got irritated with me and it made me feel bad but that's dumb so I said I was being too sensitive.
She said that I created a new problem and blamed her for everything because the other problem wasn't going my way. And I wanted her to fix my problems for me because I'm too delicate to do it myself. And that I made her feel bad and I do it all the time. According to her that's all facts.

So I feel like I'm a horrible person. I make people feel horrible. Please tell me, am I in the wrong? Should I feel as bad as I do? Something doesn't feel right, but I can't trust myself because I'm ALWAYS overreacting and I can never do anything right.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Headache

Generalized pain

View all
  • truly.caroline

    187d

    Okay, I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. I have Anxiety too and it can be a pain to deal with. It's hard to stand up for what you need, which is what you've got to do here. Are you in therapy at all? That would be most helpful, to find coping mechanisms and work on understanding your emotions/reactions. If you need to vent, hmu! 😊💜

  • Erai

    187d

    This seems very sketchy. (The things your mom is saying.) When someone convinces another person they are being 'too sensitive', way more times than not they are using it as a manipulation tactic (intentionally or not). There are a lot of other red flags in your mother's behavior and I'd encourage you to look up emotional abuse/neglect just to see if anything lines up with your mother's behavior. I'm not trying to convince you of anything and I don't know more about you and your mother's relationship than this post, but it seems like you need a direction to take. I hope things get better for you! No matter what I don't think you deserve to be called what she called you anyway. Remember your emotions are important and valid no matter what anyone says. Anxiety sucks. ❤️

    • _Robbie_

      187d

      I have wondered that. In my gut I feel that I see a lot of those signs, but I always feel really guilty for ever thinking that about her and I blame myself for all our problems. I mean. I AM too sensitive, I think that's just a fact.

      • perrygirl2019

        187d

        that's how they get away with it. I have this same problem with my grandmother and I just recently stood up to her about it. It's hard, it really is. If you need someone to talk to, I always have a free ear.

  • perrygirl2019

    186d

    For you currently have a therapist

  • Liz93

    186d

    Your mom needs to take a look at how she treats you cuz that’s very disrespectful she needs to try to understand your feelings cuz they matter

  • randochikn

    186d

    She seems to be gaslighting you in some way, and I am very sorry about that. I have bad anxiety and when a situation like that happens I would cry too because it’s just so annoying and I would always feel like a burden on people. Some people in my past at school used to call me a bit of a crybaby because I would cry, I just didn’t know how to control that feeling. But your mom shouldn’t be saying those things to you, your feelings matter and you aren’t crazy.

  • Hannahchlarson1

    186d

    You are not alone, I feel this way too

  • BulletproofRose

    186d

    I lived like this for a long time and it took some time and distance from my mother to start to grow out of this mindset, but the one HUGE thing you need to know is 《You are not a bad person!》 And I don't mean that in the general sense of not being mean or hurting people. I want you to know that being sensitive is NOT BAD. Feeling upset or anxious is NOT BAD. Crying over things that are small, but feel big when you're stressed is NOT BAD. Being hurt when you're called something hurtful is NOT BAD. Asking people for help when you are overwhelmed is NOT BAD. There's a lot I could say about your mom, but the truth is that we can't change how others act. We can only change how we let ourselves feel. By your words alone, I can tell that you are letting yourself feel like you are a problem. You are the only one with the power to change that! One last thing! I let these feelings convince me not to speak to a therapist because "no one cares about my problems and I'm just overreacting". Please believe me that I was SO wrong. If you are able to, a therapist would be the best thing to help you. And if you aren't, the next best thing is talking to people about it so it doesn't stay bottled.

  • AnimalBoy

    186d

    Look, I don't think you're being too sensitive. If what your mom did/said while she was irritated with you while you were visibly distressed hurt you, you absolutely should be able to discuss that with her to find a more productive way of interacting with each other. Obviously for your own sake you should work on coping mechanisms for being overwhelmed and such and you shouldn't expect others to fix your problems, if that was genuinely your intentions, but your feelings surrounding the situation and how your mother reacted are still valid emotions and you should still be able to communicate that to figure out a comprised to avoid these falling outs in the future. Including HER acknowledging and changing the behaviours that hurt you.

    • _Robbie_

      186d

      What she says my intentions are are never true. She always tells me things like "you're trying to create drama" and stuff and I know it's never true, but I always feel ashamed and I feel like I should feel ashamed even though it's not true.

      • AnimalBoy

        186d

        you should stand up for yourself, at least starting with your intentions. Even if that's how she's perceiving things it doesn't mean she's correct, only you would know your intentions, and it's not your fault that she's misinterpreting you and getting upset about it. Clearing things up politely might also help with her future views of you and reduce how much she misinterprets you, assuming that she's actually willing to listen and isn't just deflecting her own ill intentions and personal issues on to you.

  • El12345

    186d

    That was really insensitive and dismissive of her. You didn't blame her for anything until she started being rude to you.

  • otherworldgirl

    186d

    One, your mom doesn’t have a right to get mad at you for being upset. My dad does that too, and it’s extremely invalidating. She has no right to call you insensitive and especially not a cunt, just because you felt she was being mean. She chose to react you you being upset by getting mad, that is not you blaming her at ALL. That whole second paragraph is her being emotionally manipulative. You are aloud to be upset, spilling food is frustrating, you no longer have the food you were going to eat and you have to clean it up. It can feel overwhelming. It isnt you who make people feel horrible, you are aloud to react to things how you want. My mom used to be like that for me too, every time I stood up for myself or tried to explain myself, it was always my fault and I’m making HER life worse, when its never about her in the first place. Your is treating you poorly and almost straight up gaslighting you. I know me telling you all this won’t immediately change how you feel, I know you’re still going to doubt that it’s your fault. I highly recommend starting to keep track of when she does this. Recognizing that there is a pattern was a huge help for me personally. If you need to talk I’m here. If you can talk to someone you trust as well who doesn’t known your mom that well is also a good idea, because they wont have many preconceived ideas about her.

    • _Robbie_

      186d

      Tysmm <33 Yeah I've definitely noticed patterns. But whatever she's doing, intentionally or not, it's REALLY effective, to the point I can't trust myself in any way, I blame myself for everything even if I know it's not true, and no matter how much people say my thoughts aren't true, I'm absolutely convinced they are. I have no idea what to do.

      • otherworldgirl

        185d

        Yeah those are all symptoms of gaslighting. I would definitely bring it up to your therapist (i think i saw you said you have one) and they can help professionally deprogram that thinking. Other than that I hate to say it takes time.

  • depressedunicorn

    185d

    I think that being sensitive is OK I'm sensitive but that's not a bad thing. Your mom should never talk to you like that

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