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Dealing with Emetophobia: My Story

LyssaRP

674d

Hey new to this app but wanted to share my story. I’ve always been afraid of throwing up, other people throwing up, the thought, the smell, etc. this started when I was very young and they gave me anxiety medication for it. For 15 years I was pretty unbothered by puke, that said I was never really around it or I would simply distance myself from it. I also never threw up in those 15 years myself so I kind of convinced myself it wasn’t anything I’d have to worry about anymore. TW: 2 months ago I threw up for the first time in 15 years I remember feeling wayyy better after it happened and almost proud of myself for getting through it. But The next week I had to quit my job because I was getting so anxious about throwing up at work to the point where I’d actually feel sick (viscous cycle when your fear of getting sick makes you actually feel sick). I would try to remember what I did that day that could have “caused” the incident like what I wore that day, where I went, etc. so I could avoid those things in the future to feel more in control. I knew time was the only thing that could help me to distance myself from the incident until I got sick again only 2 months later! After not throwing up for 15 years to doing it twice within a 2 month period?! My worries are now magnified and I fear how it will affect my life. Will I be able to work again? I’ve been dropping weight because I’m afraid of eating now, will that go away in time? I fear being in public and not being able to make it to the bathroom. Any advice/ can any of you guys relate to this?

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7

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Emetophobia

Hydroxyzine

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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    • Noelle2772

      595d

      Emetephobic here! You are not alone, meditation, affirmations, and cbt help me but its something you learn to live with 💗

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    • Noelle2772

      595d

      Emetephobic here! You are not alone, meditation, affirmations, and cbt help me but its something you learn to live with 💗

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    • SmileySnail

      595d

      You sound just like me - I have the same panic about throwing up, which is made even better by my other condition causing nausea of course. I have a really weird relationship with food, I barely trust anything anymore, and if I'm feeling i'll I usually just decide not to eat because if there's nothing IN my stomach then there's nothing I can throw up. Which is totally incorrect, and harmful thinking, but I don't know how to challenge it yet. I'm in therapy now though, so I'm hoping it helps. Trying to push myself to eat things I don't trust (seafood, chicken that isn't so overcooked it's woody, pork etc) but I'm not sure it's worth the panic attacks

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    • BarefootCountryChick

      595d

      Mine has gotten so bad, it's literally taking over my life and I go nowhere hardly ever. I'm afraid what if I leave my house and I start to feel sick to my stomach, worrying about it actually makes me feel sick to the point where sometimes I have to turn around and come back home. I have my good days where I'll go out but its not far from home when I do. But I want to be able to go out further away from home and have fun with family and friends. It causes me to be depressed.

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    • Kaiiyla

      673d

      And feel free to message me any time if that’s easier! I’d love to be able to help in any way, or just be someone to understand <3

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    • Kaiiyla

      674d

      I relate to this so much! Especially when it comes to thinking back to what “caused it”, I truly didn’t think anyone else experienced this or have yet to hear about it so it’s nice to not feel alone but I also understand the struggle all too well. I have alot of issues with colors, especially mixed colors like orange and green can send me into a panic attack. I also would think that if I wore a shirt or pants that I previously felt sick in, it would happen again so they “weren’t safe” and I’d also panic regarding that as well. I developed full out routines and compulsions due to emetophobia which played a part in my Ocd diagnosis, I became agoraphobic, and it was also what triggered a eating disorder known as Arfid. Emetophobia can contribute to so much it’s crazy how little emphasis professionals put on it. What helped me a ton is meditation and controlled breathing exercises, and also heat packs that I’d lay on my stomach and rest my forearms on to ease muscle tension(however, this turned into a safety compulsion I had in the past so be careful if you think that could be a problem!) id also drink herbal tea to help with the anxiety that can make you feel even more sick even when you aren’t. Affirm yourself that you are safe, and try to ground yourself as much as possible to stop the “what if” thinking. Emetophobia is exhausting and hell to deal with, but you got this <3

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      • LyssaRP

        674d

        @Kaiiyla so glad to hear that I am not alone! I can definitely relate to avoiding certain clothes that I’ve felt sick in or got sick in! I’ve never really struggled with colors but I do fall into habits with numbers, I usually try to steer clear of odd numbers and I catch myself doing things in sets of 8. I know this is OCD although I’ve never been officially diagnosed. And to be honest haven’t struggled with it until just recently with said episodes. I KNOW that what I wear has nothing to do with getting sick but I think it makes me feel more in control. I’m interested to hear more about your story! Are you taking any medications for your diagnosis and/or seeing a therapist? I was in therapy for general anxiety and depression for awhile but didn’t click with my therapist and I would almost feel judged when I would explain my struggles so I grew to dread therapy. That said I am thinking about trying to go back and hopefully find someone more equipped to deal with phobias and ocd.

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        • Kaiiyla

          673d

          @LyssaRP I’ve been in therapy settings since I was 3, and it’s definitely been a process when it comes to finding the right one. The therapist I have now is the closest I’ve ever been to any of them in 12 years, and she’s been a huge help with helping me discover root causes for things and my triggers! That said, it is still hard for me to talk about emetophobia and I still get embarrassed about it especially when I explain the ocd part of it. It’s something I still really have to work on. But she’s very patient and even though I’m quite a mess of a client she hasn’t given up on me, which I think is most important when finding a therapist. Don’t lose hope, I know how frustrating it can be to find the right one I feel that way with psychiatrists ALL the time so I definitely understand! On the topic of medication, I’m on lamictal for my mood disorders and hydroxyzine for anxiety, both I’d say are ok but they haven’t been life-changing or anything🥲 I’m hoping to discuss getting stronger medication for my anxiety though because it’s gotten so much worse over the covid spikes in my area

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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