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462d

a few months ago I came back to my.marriagw that I left in march. I was gone for 5 months. the 5 months I was gone, I was manic. I was drinking morning till night. every day. I was with someone in that time. the guy I was with means absolutely nothing to me. I am ashamed of myself. embarrassed by myself. I am completely disappointed in me. fast forward to now. my husband is trying to forgive me. and I am trying to be open and honest. trying to communicate in ways I never have. I am really looking into myself and trying to heal. but today is bad. I can't keep any food down. haven't eaten in 3 days. I literally can't stop crying. I am scared. and that's such a huge understatement. I dont know if it will work out with my husband. I dont know if he will ever be able to forgive me. all I know is I am so in love with him. I truly don't think I could live without him. and I am so scared. I dont know. guess i just needed to vent a little. he has been super supportive and trying to console me even though it's so unfair to him. I just feel like such a burden anymore. and that no matter what, I'll never be good enough. I dont want a pity party. I just needed an outlet. thanks and merry Christmas I guess

    • FTW

      462d

      We all make our own mistakes. If he is working with you and even supporting you through this, then it sounds like you need to forgive yourself. Dont be too hard on yourself. Good luck.

      • KratomEater

        462d

        @FTW this is exactly what I was thinking. Stay strong and forgive your self. Learning to love your self is the first step to being able to love anyone else. Message me if you ever need to talk!

        • FTW

          462d

          @KratomEater I dont believe one has to love themselves first. I have had no problem showing love and kindness to my partners, while loathing myself. Working on it, though. šŸ˜‰

    • Nina716

      462d

      It's good to get stuff out and using alike as an outlet is a good option. I hope you get through this soon. Gotta get food in you. Good luck!

ā˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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