ProjectSys

80d

Is it okay to ask, "Is there something I can do for our relationship?" to your s/o? I want to get the wording right. Including discussion of polyamory and affection giving, as I feel that I can be love-bomby and clingingly distant. I want to be what's best for Em* and Myself, to bring better balance where it's needed and communicate it to Em and get a genuine response from Eir heart full of feelings. We both tend to struggle with voicing Our exact feelings, so I need some advice on how to talk about a deep topic like this and not overwhelm either of Us. 💜

*S/O's Pronouns: E/Em/Eir

Depression

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

View all
  • Crescent_Moon

    80d

    I'd love to give some advice. Is it okay if I dm you and we talk about it there?

  • Loocifer

    80d

    It is absolutely okay to ask that with your significant other! I have a tendency to write out big things emotional things that have more than one line of thought to them! It helps me organize my thoughts and make sure I’m saying everything I want to say. Maybe say* something along the lines of “I want to make sure our lines of communication are opening, is there anything you feel I could be doing differently? *it doesn’t necessarily have to be talking, it could be writing or typing or something else! sometimes the pressure to talk (especially about big feelings) makes it hard to even get to the thing you want to discuss

    • ProjectSys

      80d

      Writing it out is a great idea! Having something to follow to keep My thoughts arranged will help out a lot. I plan on typing it out so E will be able to take Eir time with writing Eir thoughts too! I like that wording you chose, I'll keep it in mind.

    • brendaboppers

      80d

      this is perfect!

      • Loocifer

        70d

        I’m so glad it resonated with you! 🤗

  • Elektra

    80d

    I totally get trying to balance things out. My two s/O's and I are grieving. We lost my husband July 29th and since then, they've been worried about me more. I feel bad because I know their hurting too.

  • Minimint

    80d

    I could help by finding out more information about you and E on a personal level. I struggled with this a lot especially through high school and still sometimes struggle but I tend to be good at accessing other situations. Mind if I DM you?

  • brendaboppers

    80d

    Married and poly here... feel free to DM me if you want to chat

  • valossadei

    80d

    can I ask what E/Em/Eir is? not trying to being rude just want to educate myself ❤

    • ProjectSys

      79d

      E/Em/Eir is nonbinary! that's Eir pronouns, similar to They/Them/Their

      • valossadei

        76d

        oh okay, thank you!

  • plant

    79d

    It is always okay to ask what you can do for your relationship. It is expressly creating space for your partner and yourself to talk about things that you may need that can only be fulfilled by each other. I've seen some amazing advice about writing down what you want to say, but also, there's such a big push on conversations only happening outloud, but please know that you can absolutely have these conversations over text, if that's better for you both. Not only does it give you the chance to look at how you're wording stuff and make sure you're saying exactly what you want to say, but also ensures you can go back and re-read it and refresh on things that you guys have talked about

    • ProjectSys

      78d

      that's perfect! i plan on doing this over text, having that written down in a safe spot will help us keep those feelings alive 💜💜

  • amandasnyder588

    78d

    Also ask what you do better. Just listen.

    • ProjectSys

      78d

      can you clarify what the first part means?

  • Starlightie

    76d

    I also use Ey/Em/Eir pronouns 💕

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.