JBug7677

253d

Does anyone else have thoughts or feelings about things that make you feel like you should be put in a padded room?
My boyfriend and I are having some tough times financially, he just lost his job, and he's constantly saying I'm not doing my part to pay the bills or keeping the house clean. I'm really worried that one of these days, we're going to have a full-blown yelling match and he's going to tell me to leave.
I made up my mind a long time ago that if our relationship doesn't work out, I'm going to kill myself. He's my only real friend. He's my reason for living. I'll give him instructions on what to do with the animals and my belongings, and I'll leave and figure out a way to die as quickly and pain-free as possible.
I just wonder if anyone else has these full-blown plans in their mind. I'm NOT going to the hospital for a 72 hr hold...that won't fix anything. Might make things worse, who knows.
I just know that if I lose him, there's no reason for me to take up space in this world any longer.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • Jen5150

    253d

    I’m here if you need to talk 🥰

  • Careabear

    252d

    Hugs. I am also here

  • fartboy

    252d

    do you have a therapist you meet with? i know your boyfriend means a lot to you, but that’s a heavy weight to put on both of you. personally im alive bc my animals need me!

  • Eeyorehasaheart

    252d

    I am so sorry. I hope things get better. I've had a plan that if I don't get to eat the foods I like and my animals are no longer here, I will take myself out. I refuse a 72 hr hold by not telling anyone I know.

  • MLee

    252d

    I understand and have been there. In my case the break up happened a couple months ago now and I'm still here and kicking. It definitely seems like everything comes crashing down but it does get easier as cliche as it is. Feel free to message me if you need anything at all !

  • JulieAna

    249d

    You will be ok please msg me if you need someone ❤️

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