763d
Does anyone else have thoughts or feelings about things that make you feel like you should be put in a padded room? My boyfriend and I are having some tough times financially, he just lost his job, and he's constantly saying I'm not doing my part to pay the bills or keeping the house clean. I'm really worried that one of these days, we're going to have a full-blown yelling match and he's going to tell me to leave. I made up my mind a long time ago that if our relationship doesn't work out, I'm going to kill myself. He's my only real friend. He's my reason for living. I'll give him instructions on what to do with the animals and my belongings, and I'll leave and figure out a way to die as quickly and pain-free as possible. I just wonder if anyone else has these full-blown plans in their mind. I'm NOT going to the hospital for a 72 hr hold...that won't fix anything. Might make things worse, who knows. I just know that if I lose him, there's no reason for me to take up space in this world any longer.
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