Struggling with Depression and Coping: Need Advice

Please help me. Things are getting rough. I don't know what to do. About 2 months ago I fell into a bad depressive episode that I managed to cope with until I lost my job. I was really close with everyone at work, particularly the father of the family that owned the place. For context, I tend to cling very heavily to strong father figures so he meant a lot to me and still does. Since I've stopped working it feels as though everything is starting to follow this downward trend. I got another job the weekend after only to eventually have to leave it because I hadn't had my first day after having been hired 2 weeks prior along with other issues with money and things they hadn't told me I'd be doing (that I was not comfortable/qualified to do) Since then I've had no luck with finding any form of even ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from potential employers. About a week ago I learned that my older brother was going to be moving a few states away by the end of the month. I'm not ready for that. I knew he was going to be moving but not so soon. These are only the main events. I'm very tired, I haven't slept well in weeks. I feel like I'm ready to sleep forever. But I can't. I can't leave anyone behind. I can't hear the thought of my family finding me and them having to tell my S/O. It's getting harder and harder to fight. My issue is that I have no way to cope. I can't bounce back. I feel like I've hit my mental rock bottom. The tiniest inconvenience sends me into a spiraling sobbing mess. I can't make decisions for myself. I can't think clearly. I had to give up a fantastic job opportunity because I couldn't even do the stupid math test due to how thick my brain fog is. And since that struggle was a bit stressful, I broke down and immediately left. I didn't even do the test. I have no interest in anything other than a few specific people. I used to love to paint, draw, sculpt, sew, craft and when I wasn't inside I loved going to parks and going on drives and just enjoying things. Now it's nothing. I never get the urge to pick up any hobby. I never get the rush of happiness and giddiness of a new idea or thought. there is no thought. not much anyway. Honestly I want to apologize for such a long post. I haven't been able to get in touch with my therapist. Also, apologies for any confusing wording of paragraphs. as we speak I'm in a mixed episode and I just need someone out there to please tell me-- what do you do when you have nothing inside to push you to move forward while everything in life is driving over you and crushing you because they're going so fast? What do you do when the hugs from your family are hollow for you? When you feel guilty for even breathing too loud near someone who you rationally know loves you unconditionally but for some reason you think they hate you? I don't know anything anymore. especially who I am. I'm tired.