Is talking about being autistic to others that aren't, a bad thing?
Anytime I speak about it with my mother, whether that be a new fact I learned about it, or talking about how I'm dealing with it (because I was diagnosed recently), she'll mention something like "Well, ____ had cancer, but she never went around telling everyone about it or talking about it so much." And I feel like that isn't a fair comparison, but I'm not too sure. I just am starting to feel guilty when I talk about it or even say the word "autism" because she doesn't want that to "define" me or for me to become "obsessed" with talking about it.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Lung Cancer

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  • Katty


    First of all it’s super common for autistic people to have a special interest in autism so like you might become “obsessed” with talking about it. If you do more power to you. Secondly this sounds like your mom’s ableism is showing. It sounds like she thinks people shouldn’t talk about their struggles bc she doesn’t want to hear about it. Also autism is how your brain is wired so it does very much define us (as it should). This is a big part of your life and you absolutely should talk about. It does sound like your mom is implying you shouldn’t talk about autism, but I would ignore her bc it’s ableist advice. I have also found that talking about ND issues/facts helps educate the NTs around me and makes me more comfortable. If people don’t want to listen to you talk about autism related things chances are that they would not be particularly accepting to you as an autistic human. So talk about it to your hearts desire and let the cards fall where they may.

  • SunInAugust


    Sounds like she unfortunately might not have the emotional maturity and availability needed to have these kinds of conversations. I have a couple neurotypical friends i can talk to these things about but most say "don't let it define you!". I mostly find comfort in talking to neurodivergent people about it

  • minime273


    Okay, so I'm speaking as someone who isn't diagnosed with ASD yet (scared of the stigma around the diagnosis but I'm 99.9% sure I'm autistic), and who talks about ADHD and ASD a lot with family, I've heard similar before. Here's the thing: wanting to know your brain is a good thing. And because of the nature of autism, it kinda *does* define you, because it separates your experience from the mainstream. It doesn't have to be the only thing that defines you, but it is an important part of who you are, and you deserve to share that knowledge with people and get excited about it, if you want. She needs to be glad that you're finding fascination in the diagnosis, rather than falling into deep depression. You don't need to be ashamed.

  • michele55

    302d sure does define a person!! The day I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome was the day that I finally understood who I was and why I was and now I can love me for exactly who I am!!

    • michele55


      ...and to the mother..its clear that you love your daughter and would hate for autism to lead to any further problems in your daughters life ..however, can I please offer a suggestion?? Along with replying to your daughter with practical advice...maybe you can giver her practical advice and good solid emotional support half and half. Candy...YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT!! Please don't settle for anything less!!

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