Ok so I sent this to my messages but I wanted to post it here. So I am the oldest of 3 girls. However they are always teasing me. To the point where I feel like they mean every word. They say sorry but I know they don’t mean it. My baby sister even said to me that she doesn’t mean sorry but says it anyway. We used to be close when we were younger but now that they both have boyfriends and doing more than I ever did when I was their age. It makes me feel like I’m just…there. Of course I am proud of them. I really am. But I just feel like I’m just there witnessing everything and I am always getting the “get a job and get a life” talk from everyone I know. And I have a job. I am a live in caregiver for my grandma with the help of my grandfather. Yet i don’t get paid. I know I can’t get an actual job because I feel like i have to be there 24/7. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
No. That is a perfectly reasonable way to feel. If my brother started acting that way towards me, I would feel horrible. I imagine it's even worse because you used to be close. Have you tried telling them how it's making you feel? I know it's hard, and in some cases impossible, but it might help if you separate all these people who are causing you pain and have a talk with them one on one. Tell them how it makes you feel, tell them that your grandma is more important to you at the moment. It might even help to discuss these feelings with your grandparents. I bet they are so grateful and happy that you are there to help them, and that they would totally take your side in these situations. I recently lost both my grandpas, and if I had the chance to know them better, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. However, don't let it completely take over your life. It can be difficult to give yourself a break in that situation, but I'm sure your grandma wants you to enjoy life too. Hang out with friends, build a support network. Find something fun that you enjoy doing. I garentee that your grandparents would love hearing you talk about something that interests you. Hope this helps, and good luck. ❤️
it’s hard to get the words out. It helps typing them out though so I might just send a message to them. I have tried telling my family that I can’t leave my grandmas side. Even though she doesn’t really do anything anymore, I am scared that if I leave her alone , she is going to need me to help her. My grandfather helps out too but since I am there now, he is back to doing the work that he needs to do for the house. I am always told by my mom to go and do stuff around the house while my grandma is in the living room watching tv. I do chores of course, but I try not to leave my grandma by herself for too long. I try and stay as close as possible so that I can hear my grandma call out to me. She doesn’t yell as she used to. She just quietly says what she needs. My grandma wants me to live my life and I try. My friends and I don’t have matching schedules so it’s hard to find a day where we all are free too hang out.
i know you hear this a lot, but I am very sorry for your loss. I hope it will get better for you ❤️
That is a tough predicament. You cannot please everybody. It's like trying to juggle spinning plates. It sounds like you love your grandmother very much, my own practically raised me. Towards the end of her life I did not get to see her as often as I should have and it haunts me. So it sounds like you're doing what you feel is best. I don't think you can be in the wrong for feeling a certain way, ever. It's the actions that stem from those feelings is what we should control. Life is not a race, and you are not your sisters. Everyone travels their own path in life. The more you compare yourself to others who you think have their ducks in a row, the more likely youre gonna have a bad time. I really understand where you're coming from because when I had to leave my grandmother at the hospice center to go to work or raise my children it tore me to pieces. But, I had to balance it as best I could. My sanity is her telling me that I also need to live. Which is what you have to do. But you don't have to go at it alone. I hope you find a resolution to your predicament, truly.
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