Struggling with Codependency and Anxious Attachment Style

I can relate. I use to think that I HAD to have a man in my life. After I got hurt I would walk out and find someone else because of my insecurities. I would walk out before he did. I would show him. Lol

I feel the same way, I feel like the people who are closest too me I always wind up scaring away because I want To be with them so often :(

Honestly, the struggle is so real. I feel like in some ways I'm a lot better with the whole codependency thing, but in other ways I still can see too much of the anxious attachment style in a small handful of some of the relationships in my life. I think it's important to learn how to be comfortable with the lack of their presence at times, whether that be lack of in person or even texting presence. Balance out who you hang out with and make sure you do things for yourself too. I don't know your interests, but just some ideas from my own experience, find a new TV show to binge watch or a new game to get into. I find, finding something that catches my interest enough to hyper focus on it helps a lot. I think a lot of times, at least for me with my experience of these things, I tended to hyper focus on the relationship and the person's actions/words or lack thereof. So I found finding other things to hyper focus on has helped me. Almost equally as important though is having people to talk with about your thoughts. I have a hard time hyper focusing anyways when I feel super bothered/upset/anxious about something, especially when it's in regards to a relationship, so having some friends, family, or even a professional that you could talk with to both, get things off your chest to, but also hear the other person's perspective can be helpful. Also, just doing things to help soothe yourself too. Really anything that has to do with the 5 senses, ie: take a warm shower, light a candle/incense, cuddle up with something whether that be a blanket, stuffed animal, etc, of course breathing exercises (but personally I always found these difficult whenever I've felt anxious), listening to music, or even listen to rain or other ambient noises (white, brown, or pink noise can be nice too), and so much more. Those are just a handful of things thst have helped me that you could try. Hopefully all this helps ☺️💕

I am dealing with this myself. I only just came tor realize how bad I do this. All my narcissistic no longer friends and exses made it so much worse. I am going through a divorce with a man of such and the relationship was 7 and half years. I am in therapy to deal with it but is very new, I will pass along anything helpful I find in my research and/or therapy though. I am now trying to create balanced friendships vut I am afraid of it happening again, I am just hoping that with awareness and talking about it openly I can be stronger than those desires?urges?not sure? Especially as I recently had some friends who said they needed a break from me because of this toxically unhealthy codependent attachment I subconsciously did with them

I definitely get anxious when I'm not around my loved ones and always think I did something wrong.

I do struggle with this a lot and I understand, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. What I do is that I have to hit myself with the sad reality that not all friendships/relationships last forever. Please remember that it's okay to give yourself some time and focus on yourself. I'm still recovering from a breakup that happened a few months ago, and the relationship between me and my best friend got really sour recently, but I've been giving myself a lot of time to heal and move on. I promise you that even after everything, you'll be okay. I don't have much advice but I hope that this helps