Struggling with My Sexuality and Mental Health

I'm always late to the party... meaning it took me a very long time to figure out my sexuality. I'm not I guess what you consider to be the norm. I tried the marriage life it left me with a bigger hole in my life...I'm 32 and was able to recently say I'm Bi-Asexual. I'm ASD I have bipolar and Schizophrenia and server PTSD & Anxitey. Did I ever think as a child I would have to struggle over this type of thing nope...I feel sometimes like a complete freak. I can't even have a relationship because I'm scared ill chase my partners away. I've Ben in 2 major relationships and never dated in school. I sometimes ghost dates because I simply can't handle that most relationships deal with sexy time...I don't want that type of relationship which is why i will probably remain single and alone for the rest of my life. Also having OA at 32 has chronically impacted my life and walking a lot. It has came with depression me gaining weight. I'm a big ball of a mess right now and I feel like my life is pretty much doomed to be like this....sorry yall depression is hitting hard this week.