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griz

674d

I feel like my friend is abandoning me. I know she is going through a rough patch herself but we haven't talked in days and she is always there for me. I'm afraid she is going to stop being my friend or something.

Top reply
    • OuchiePrincess

      642d

      Try talking about this problem with someone you trust who doesn’t have BPD, to try to get some perspective. Is my friend really abandoning me and I need to worry about that, or is she really busy with her own stuff rn and she would actually love to hear from me? Or perhaps the truth is somewhere in between. But just know that our feelings are not always indicative of reality. They are more often indicative of our feelings about something similar that has happened in the past. If you find yourself comparing this to another time that something like this happened, you might be emotionally triggered. Try to deescalate by stepping away from the problem and doing something else to keep your mind busy. When you are calmer, is this problem still as big as it was before? Why or why not? What are some realistic things you could do about it, that would probably have a positive outcome?

    • OuchiePrincess

      642d

      Try talking about this problem with someone you trust who doesn’t have BPD, to try to get some perspective. Is my friend really abandoning me and I need to worry about that, or is she really busy with her own stuff rn and she would actually love to hear from me? Or perhaps the truth is somewhere in between. But just know that our feelings are not always indicative of reality. They are more often indicative of our feelings about something similar that has happened in the past. If you find yourself comparing this to another time that something like this happened, you might be emotionally triggered. Try to deescalate by stepping away from the problem and doing something else to keep your mind busy. When you are calmer, is this problem still as big as it was before? Why or why not? What are some realistic things you could do about it, that would probably have a positive outcome?

    • calexx

      674d

      Have you reached out?

    • AranaJ

      674d

      This is a common BPD thing. I do it too. While it is difficult you kind of have to step outside of yourself and give yourself advice as if someone else were saying this. Logically speaking, your friend isn't abandoning you but with BPD, at least with me, I think the worst case scenario. Reach out to her without putting pressure on her. "Are you okay? Do you need to talk?" And wait a few days for her to answer. We all need space sometimes.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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