So i noticed at night, since i don’t sleep and am awake till around 10am, the reason i can’t sleep is because my brain goes manic? i don’t know if that makes sense, but my heads racing, i feel like i got 100 things to do, im thinking of random things and then googling them. i have urges to just spend all my money. i don’t know what’s going on?? can anyone relate 😅
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
This has been my whole life lol, so I totally get it. Here are my few theories on why:
1. It feels like everyone in the world is asleep/not interrupting, so my brain feels unconstrained by the judgments or opinions of others. (This was also the case when I was a kid with a difficult homelife; night time was my escape and my opportunity to live my own life.)
2. I end up following a dopamine chain where I have all these plans to do things, and then end up spending most of the night watching youtube or playing games and stuff. The idea of doing things gets me excited, and then I don't actually have the energy to do them and end up doing other things to try and uplift myself but end up getting lost in the instant gratification since I feel like I can't really do anything else.
3. Actually lying down to sleep leaves me vulnerable to the bombardment of all the heavy or depressing or difficult thoughts that are constantly flooding my mind, and withouy realizing it I end up running away from them by staying occupied and staying awake.
Thankfully I've learned to be able to sleep at night, but the key word is "learn." I had to train my body and my mind to go to sleep at night, and it took a lot of hard work and time, and a lot of time I didn't even believe it was possible for me; but I was able to do it and I was so proud of myself.
I know this was a long post, but I really hope that it helped!
wow!! this makes a lot of sense!! thank you so much for responding!!!
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