Struggling to Stop Purging After Eating Out

I think you can start by forgiving yourself. No matter what happens you deserve nourishment. Sometimes it means we aren't counting calories or carbs (although this isn't a great practice in general) and it's normal to eat food without restricting (unless you have an allergy or religious restriction). It's normal to eat richer foods in celebrating.

I guess what you described is exactly why getting better is so hard and for me- I couldn’t do it by myself and only with therapy I started to get better… good luck ❤️