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Feeling Lost in My Relationship

AngelBby

617d

I don't know if I'm just over reacting but my fiance feels more distant when he smokes a lot. It's legal here so he's been doing it a lot more often. I don't smoke with him because it gives me anxiety. I tried talking to him about it and he doesn't understand what I mean. We also don't have the same sleeping schedule anymore so he usually stays up all night with the roommate when I sleep. So I sleep alone most nights because I work mornings where before, it wasnt like that. I just feel lost.

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5

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Depression

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    • Fire101

      615d

      @AngelBby 100% tranparency here: my husband is the one who cant sleep without me. To the point where if he wakes up and im not there half the day is ruined because there is going to be a fight. However he never feels the need to reciprocate any of what he wants from me back to me, which is pretty frustrating. The only solution is to compromise in some way. There has to be a solution where everyone is happy even if its not 100% its better than becoming resentful because one of you feels your needs are never met and your feelings never validated. Trust me it seems like something you can deal with....but it takes its toll on you after time, and of you dont teach men what you will and wont deal with they will just keep taking until there is nothing left to take. If he doesnt care...then there is nothing you can do but find someone who does. Sorry if that sounds harsh but im 14years in miserable as can be because when I tried to establish boundaries early on he acted out in an insane way and i let fear keep me in a situation I should have let myself run from over a decade ago. My husband went from just being a jerk to smoking pot, to adding in opiates, bounced in and out of alcoholism, dabbled in wifebeating, and to this day if i want any kind of safety net I have to hide my own hard earned money and not even let him know i have anything. Because as soon as he knows i have money he takes it

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    • Fire101

      617d

      Your feelings about the situation are perfectly valid. It can be hard dealing with change especially when it has to do with your signifigant other. I dont know about you but i have abandonment issues mixed in with never knowing my father so my husband has had to deal with all 3 coming from me... It doesnt make me proud of myself to say the least... Makes me feel pretty bad actually. But, as I was saying, change is already hard for us as it is but when you couple that with a chance of loss of a very important person to us it can snowball out of control before you know it. Have you tried talking to your fiance? Also, long time smoker here, 420 friendly, and i must reccomend if you havent already to go down to the dispensary with him and talk to your friendly local budtender (weed cashier) and they can point you in the right direction to a strain that may help with your anxiety instead of make it worse. Now as for the same sleeping schedule he is going to have to make a small sacrifice for you. Ask him if he would mind laying/ciddling with you when your going to sleep because it helps you sleep, or gives you good dreams, or simply because you miss him and it would mean a lot to you. If hes a keeper he may not understand BUT he will definitely validate your feelings and try to make you feel better.

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      • AngelBby

        617d

        @Fire101 I have talked to him. Yes. He said he doesn't get it. Granted he was really high but there really isn't a time that he isn't. Small doses work sometimes but it's something I genetically get from my mom. I'm being forced to go off my Prozac so I want to avoid it for now. Withdrawals and the possible weed paranoia could end bad.

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        • Fire101

          615d

          @AngelBby 100% tranparency here: my husband is the one who cant sleep without me. To the point where if he wakes up and im not there half the day is ruined because there is going to be a fight. However he never feels the need to reciprocate any of what he wants from me back to me, which is pretty frustrating. The only solution is to compromise in some way. There has to be a solution where everyone is happy even if its not 100% its better than becoming resentful because one of you feels your needs are never met and your feelings never validated. Trust me it seems like something you can deal with....but it takes its toll on you after time, and of you dont teach men what you will and wont deal with they will just keep taking until there is nothing left to take. If he doesnt care...then there is nothing you can do but find someone who does. Sorry if that sounds harsh but im 14years in miserable as can be because when I tried to establish boundaries early on he acted out in an insane way and i let fear keep me in a situation I should have let myself run from over a decade ago. My husband went from just being a jerk to smoking pot, to adding in opiates, bounced in and out of alcoholism, dabbled in wifebeating, and to this day if i want any kind of safety net I have to hide my own hard earned money and not even let him know i have anything. Because as soon as he knows i have money he takes it

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        • Fire101

          615d

          @AngelBby ouch! Why are you being forced off your prozac?

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    • VolcanoMama

      617d

      ❤️

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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