Struggling with Wearing My Packer in Public

I bought a new stp/packer and I’m comfortable wearing it in public but i hate wearing it around people who know I’m trans. At home it’s comments about dildos once i leave the room. I wish i could just be cis so I didn’t have to deal with this shit. Maybe the packer is too big? But the last one was way too small and didn’t work for either function. I’m so tired and paranoid. The packing underwear I bought makes the bulge too big and noticeable so i just use it with normal underwear. I don’t want to look like I have a boner I just want to get rid of the empty space in my pants