BaileyFawn

179d

does anyone feel like they don't know who they are??? like... for me, i recently found Christ and had a glimpse of heaven; imagine a golden white room with no walls, and a black orb in the center (which is us): i also saw the beauties of the world, and the parts that are, literally, on fire... i have spent my whole life trying to be someone i thought i was... that is until i found myself in a position where my dreams would be ripped from me... i just don't know who i am... everytime i ask, Yahova, who i am i get the same answers... "Reaper," "farmhand" or "a light in a dark..." i don't know what these mean... does anyone have scripture i could study about this topic???

Depression

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  • KitKat1450

    179d

    As someone that grew up as a Christian, I felt like there was what I was told to be like but I didn’t know my heart or identity in Christ so they ought the last few years I’ve been on a journey to discover that. I feel more content In that but also realize it isn’t a destination. God actually wants to know me and for me to know me not for me to pretend for Him but to be me and be filled by the Holy Spirit and take Him and share Him everywhere. Have you gotten connected to your own heart before asking God what He thinks about you? Also I feel like it helps learning and knowing about God before asking because sometimes own thoughts projected onto Gods identity can come into play so clearing that out first can be really helpful. With the words you did mention- reaper and farm hand- I would dig into the parable of sowing and reaping- Luke 8:5-15 as well as other farming that is mentioned in the Bible. Just keep in mind the Old Testament is getting ready for the coming of Christ and the New Testament the old law was thrown out because Christ died to bring us closer to God without having to fulfill the law that was required previously. I would say just start looking into it and not trying to figure it out on your own but continue to ask God for understanding, spend time getting to know yourself and get connected to your heart, and spend time with God. Doors will open.

    • BaileyFawn

      179d

      Thank you, friending. That helped.

      • KitKat1450

        179d

        I’m here if you want to process or talk thru anything relating to this. It can be mind boggling at times.

  • niceguydrummerpiano

    179d

    I kinda gave up on church was doing dru.s for churches and piano.. but recently all the churches around d me are more about selling shirts more than double what they are to make them and that sort of thing.. I find it depressing but what keeps me going is inspiring others..people who want to learn instruments and be active with music... but I always feel like I'm asking the question.. what am I really here for.. my wife died in a car wreck 5 years ago I have no family I was a foster child so that was my dream to have my own family.. I drive a semi truck I just kept eating the garbage food.. but now I'm trying g to lose weight make goals for myself..I still feel I have no purpose..but being able to teach people music and as they grow a passion for it.. I need to have that passion like I did before..so even though I feel like a lost soul.. if I can fix myself... then I know I can fix things around me...and help others as well... so I don't know if this helps at all but even though things seem like I'm not really part of anything or I feel lost... I don't focus on that... focus on what you want to male of that.. there is a way and a purpose.. just have to find what it is..but to do that you ha e to ha e passion...the wanting to..

  • BaileyFawn

    179d

    My friending, i just want to go home with Christ, God and my family... i don't want to be here any more than i can stand... but that same voice says, be there for your family... it's a very quiet and kind voice... it kinda reminds me of my dad, firm yet gentle... My friend, don't give up on the church... we are the bride of Christ... we are of one body, if one part feels pain you can be sure that the rest of the body will feel it too... listen to Global Vision Bible Church... they're online every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening... the fire in pastor Locke's voice about scripture is like a thing never before seen... if you ever are driving a truck Sunday morning, turn on GVBC on YouTube... or watch them after they've gone offline... to be a part of a community is so great for the soul, to share with fellow believers... My friend, im so sorry for your loss... but i am here to tell you, that she feels no pain or sorrow... I love you friend... May Christ bless you, now and forever

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