All I Need is Love: A Cry for Help

The one thing I need to heal is the one thing I never have. I've been sobbing for days. Weeks. And I've been here so many times. All I need is to be loved. I need to be held while I cry myself to sleep. I need to be reassured that someone's gonna stay. I dont need years of therapy, another self help book. I just need the kind of love that reassures and stays. I can't stop crying. And I can't go on without being loved. Everyone had the worst advice and least helpful things to say. "You are loved! Your friends love you" "Stop looking for love and it will find you." "Just love yourself." "You have to love yourself first" "There's more than one kind of love" People who say that are loved by someone. Or were at some point. They know that feeling of safety and love. Their lives aren't marred by terror, isolation, and unimaginable pain. I'm in agony. And most people don't want to meet someone in that place because they are too busy holding themselves together or suppressing their own pain to acknowledge the pain in someone else. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't breathe. All I can do is cry. I feel so alone in the ways that matter deepest because i always have been. My soul is shattered into dust. All I need is the kind of healing love I've never known. I dont think I ever will. I console myself into a few hours of sleep by reassuring myself maybe ill be lucky and won't wake back up. It hurts the most that the answer is so easy. But so unachievable.